Astar the robot: I can put my arm back on you can't 1980's War Amps PSA

First off I have to say that I have been searching for this PSA for a long long time. I even emailed the War Amps a few different times to try and obtain a copy but to no avail. So I am really glad that it is now online and available for all to view. I am happy that I am able to share it with you and offer a bit of info for those not in the know.

Anyone that grew up in the 1980's in Ontario (possibly all of Canada...possibly the US as well... I'm not sure) will remember this spot. Not only because it was played a lot when we were growing up but because I don't think that anyone who saw this PSA even once would ever forget it. This is by far the greatest and most effective PSA ever created in my opinion. Growing up I never knew anyone who lost a limb and I like to think that Astar is directly responsible for that.

Even as a kid this commercial creeped me out and raised many questions. 2 things that I could never figure out: Is Astar a male or female? And does Astar cut off his/her arm off on purpose? Or is it an accident? Knowing that he/she can put their arm back on I always wondered if he/she did it on purpose for our benefit (ya know as the lesson trying to be taught).

But I think what I find most confusing that I only really realize now watching the video (probably a concept that my childhood brain couldn't properly wrap itself around) is the question of Astar's existence in relation to the planet that he/she lives on. Is the planet inhabited by Astar and other robots? Do the spinning blades and saws and other dangerous items acutaly serve some sort of a purpose? Are they a part of some elaborate factory that is producing something? Is Astar supposed to be playing in this area? It is understood that Astar cannot get hurt so is it acceptable for he/she and other robots to just come and go as they please in these dangerous areas? Or is Astar a rebel? We don't see any other robots or companions with Astar. Is Astar the sole inhabitant of this planet? I guess in general how does that planet fit into our (or its) universe? It would be great to see some sort of back story.

Seriously though this is the greatest PSA of all time.

Live Earth: Friend of Foe?

Well Live Earth is done now and I think I can still hear the planet choking from its effects...actually I think the old earth will be feeling the effects for quite some time. I want to start off by saying that I have nothing against environmentalism, conservation and trying to reduce our own "carbon footprints" in fact a lot of it to me seems like common sense and ridiculous in reverse.

The problem I have with Live Earth is it seems like such a fiasco and I have to partially question the core motives (not the seemingly obvious one of "lets all save the planet" but that it is all put on by a politician... I wouldn't be surprised if this all leads up to Gore's '08 presidential announcement). We all know that all politicians cannot be trusted... its the nature of the system.

The First big downfall to this whole thing is that I don't think it was promoted very well. I didn't even hear it was happening until a day or two before (I haven heard this from several people as well). Granted I don't follow any of the bands that played and if I did they may have been making a big deal about it.

Second big problem: Rock stars are among the most wasteful people there are (these are the spokespeople?) While touring they drive and fly thousands of miles around the world (most of the flying in private jets. One hour in a Gulfstream jet burns as much fuel as driving a family car for a year) HUGE CARBON FOOTPRINT. The best thing that all the artists could do for the planet is announce "We will never tour again". (and looking at some of the performers from yesterday I wishe they DID say that.... oh and stop making records too)

Third Problem is the amount energy used by the events themselves. So the big question is will the message override the damage done yesterday? Lets look at some figures:

The average person produces 10 tonnes of carbon per year.
it is estimated that Live Earth produced 74,500 tonnes of carbon emmisions in one day
(this includes all the concert locations, the artists and fans travelling and tv audience) the concerts will also produce 1,025 tonnes of waste (the majority of which will go to landfill sites)

Again will the message be able to compensate for this amount of added waste? I fucking doubt it.

I also want to add from the perspective of a music fan that the performances I did see we're pretty terrible. I wanted to see the Police Reunion set and it was average until the end when they brought out Kanye West and he stunk up the place. Seriously some of the worst rhymes I've ever heard. Watch for yourself he comes in at about 2:20. The look on the girls face at 5:20 says it all (its like she's thinking why did they let this idiot on stage with them?). If Kanye West's Suck factor could be measured in Carbon Emmisions it would surely surpass those of the enitre Live Earth festival mentioned above.

You may think I'm being too hard on Kanye West but if you claim to be the greatest artist ever (as he often does) and you pull shit like this you're going to get called out.

[Stats from Carbonfootprint.com in Daily mail article]

Really Bad Tattoos Part 7

The Celebrity and Product Edition





Companies spend millions and millions of dollars to try and get their logos tattooed on our brains and some people literally get the logos tattooed on their bodies. Unbelievable.

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This tat is much scarier than the movie the Shining.



The year 2077:
Kid: Hey Grandpa whats this tattoo you have?
Old man: Thats Britney Spears.
Kid: Who?
Old man: She was a famous pop singer 70 years ago, but this tattoo is a joke.
Kid: I don't get it?
Old man: Well, there was a week in 2006 when she went crazy... it was in all the newspapers and she SHAVED HER HEAD!! Also one of her hit songs was called "Oops I did it again". So I combined the two.
Kid: Your jokes are stupid..... Whats a newspaper?

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Jesus Loves you but he hates your shitty tattoo.

Check out:
Really Bad Tattoos Part 1
Really Bad Tattoos Part 2
REally Bad Tattoos Part 3
Really Bad Tattoos Part 4
Really Bad Tattoos Part 5
Really Bad Tattoos Part 6
Really Bad Tattoos Part 8

The Price is Right Bob Barker Retires

On Friday June 15th Bob Barker's last episode of The Price is Right aired. At the end of it the only mention he made of this fact was a "thank you for inviting me into your homes for the past 50 years" and of course the standard don't forget to get your pets nuts chopped off.

There has been a lot of talk about Bob Barkers replacement because they plan on keeping the show going. Its hard to imagine anyone else doing it and I think either of these scenarios will occur the show will either continue as it always has no matter who hosts it or a new host will be brought in and the show will crash and burn in a short period of time.

There are things I like and dislike about the show. Well the only thing I really don't like about it is that its essentially an hour long commercial (with commercial breaks). The Good: The fact that they have keep the same 70's era look the entire time is fantastic. Its also great how the contestants are literally average people (who have no idea they are going to be on until they are called) this results in some contestants who are extremely fucked up which of course is great. No other game show has such a "regular" cross section of people. Also you have to love the DIY t-shirt aspect of the show. I would love someone to open a Price is Right T-shirt museum that is filled with literally tens of thousands of handmade and one of a kind shirts.

One thing I always wondered is: How many times has Bob Barker heard the theme song? Well the theme song plays 9 times per episode (the intro, after each 6 contestants games, after showcase showdown number 1 and the closing credits (there is a different song after showdown number 2)). So it turns out Barker hosted 6,731 shows so he has heard the theme song 60,579 times. HOLY SHIT... I bet no that now that he doesn't do the show anymore he is going to crave that song. I don't think he'll be able to complete a 2 minute task without expecting to hear that tune.

One thing that I've always wanted to see on price is someone try and spin the wheel the wrong way. someday...... someday.

On the Lot - Season Premiere: the pitches

On the lot is a new reality show about a group of aspiring movie directors all vieing for a prize of a million dollar contract with Dreamworks. On the first episode their task was to pitch a movie idea based on one of the following five concepts. I'm glad I didn't have to pitch one of them because this is what I think of when given the ideas...

A slacker applies to the C.I.A. as a joke and is accepted.
At first glance this concept seems like it could only be a comedy and it would have to star some idiot like Pauly Shore (well Pauly Shore if it was the early 90's) in this day and age it would have to star another idiot like.... lets say Jamie Kennedy. The problem is that this movie would never ever ever ever be even remotely funny (not on any level) it would be... well it would be your standard Pauly Shore or Jamie Kennedy movie... ie. ghastly unfunny. I want to take this film in a different direction. The film will be a drama. Not just any drama an utterly dry, 100% serious comedy free drama.(*) The slacker character is not a slacker in the sense of a stoner who sits on the couch eating cheeto's watching Maury but a slacker in the sense that he is so morbidly depressed that he can barely bring himself to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. He applies to the C.I.A. not as a prank joke like a bunch of half drunk frat boys would find funny but more like a man with such low self esteem attempting to yet again self sabotage himself with an attempt at a job that he feels he would never get. The reasons are unclear why he is actually hired but he isn't hired as some sort of C.I.A. field agent as you may be thinking. He is hired for some sort of lowly data entry clerk type position. He takes the job and basically goes unnoticed and continues his utterly mundane and mediocre existence. This film has very little dialog or even movement. Picture long scenes shot in drab monotone colours of a pathetic looking man staring blankly at walls and such. Movie will star the C list equivalent of Tobey Maguire. The film will be a box office and critical failure but the universe will be better off without another Jamie Kennedy movie.

A man sees his face on the news described as missing or wanted.
Ok this one has to be done in a Phillip K. Dick style of confusing duality etc. So the guy see's himself wanted on the news for some major crime. He has to go on the run to try and figure it all out. Much to his surprise he finds out he has a twin brother . But it turns out that his twin brother actually cloned himself and the clone is the one wanted by the police. The guy finally comes face to face with the clone and the clone tells the guy (the original guy) that he is the clone and not him. So the dude can't figure out if he really is a clone or if he has a twin brother or if he has a twin brother and a twin brother clone. In the end it turns out that there are no clones and that they are identical triplets and the original guy actually was the one wanted by the police because he would commit crimes at night while sleep walking.... actually no fuck it... he would commit crimes at night because he was a werewolf........................ who was actually a clone of his twin brothers werewolf. FUCK YEAH!!!.... I have to work on this one a bit to make it more confusing clonefusing.

A mouse is captured by a pharmaceutical company and must plan his escape.
This would work in the style of Watership down and the Plague dogs. Someone get Richard Adams we have a job for him. Seriously this movie would suck balls if it was like Stuart Little because Stuart Little sucked balls.(**) But if it had a dark edge to it. Animals trying to survive in the world against mysterious and sinister human's who seem capable of nothing but evil. Could be a winner.

A priest meets the woman of his dreams before he is to be ordained.
He becomes a priest and then fucks the broad anyway. Jesus is not impressed.(***) PASS!

A crate bound for a secret military base is delivered to a suburban family.
This one IS a comedy but one geared towards unimaginative/mentally deficient 7 year olds. Tom Arnold is the head of the family his wife is played by the Redheaded Woman from the "Problem Child" movies his son is played by that annoying kid Frankie Muniz who played Malcolm in the middle and the daughter is some other prat. The crate comes to their house but its only filled with styrofoam cups. Some psuedo sinister guy from the military base is sent to try and retrieve the case. He will be played by someone with a moustache. Its one of those movies where people over act and make a big deal about stupid things and ends up getting a 2.1 on the IMDB.

* By creating a film that is 100% serious it will actually be funnier than if it was the Jamie Kennedy comedy.... you just got X'ed

** I've never actually seen Stuart Little

*** I realize that this may in fact be the most offensive think I have ever written... but fuck it. (if yr easily offended what the fuck are you doing on this site?)

Are you smarter than a 5th grader: fake, phony, fixed, set up, staged, scam

ok so the post title is a bit harsh but something about this show doesn't seem right. I noticed the second time I saw the show that the one kid Laura was also the kid I had just seen on the Sarah Silverman show (she has now left 5th grader because she is going to be a series). So the kids are actors? They present the show as if a regular adult is competing against a regular 5th grader. This is not the case. If you've noticed the kids wear the same clothes every episode so its basically just a gimmic. The kids are nothing more than game show props. I said early on while watching it that I guarantee that the producers (or whoever) are feeding the kids the answers and its been pre-determined which ones they are going to get wrong and right etc.

if you read the fine print it says that the kids were provided workbooks that "could have provided the basis" for questions used in the show. I think thats a safe way of saying they've been fed the answers.

To be fair I don't think this is any more staged than any of Mark Burnett's productions or most game shows for that matter.

The show would be way better if it was set up in a price is right style with a big audience and at the beginning the randomly pulled real 5th graders and contestants out of the audience..... but that ain't gonna happen.

My Brother's Cat Hates Me

I live with my brother (well both my brothers actually). The older of the 2 has a cat named "Chairman Meow" (as seen in the picture laughing manically).

Facts about the cat:
-he is male
-he is black with a couple of white spots
-he is about 9 months old
-HE IS A TOTAL FUCKING DICKHEAD (at least to me)

I think I've always been pretty nice to the cat. I feed him when my brother isn't around to do it, when I eat cereal I give him the last little bit of milk in the bowl because he likes that etc. How does he treat me? Well for one, when I walk up or down the stairs he will "bat" at me with his paws from between the bars of the banister (I'm the only one he does that to). When I walk down the hall he will run up behind me and "attack" the backs of my feet. He comes under my desk when I'm trying to work and claws at all the wires. Worst of all though is before he was neutered he would spray his nasty piss/spray stuff (whatever the hell it is) in my room. He did this several times in my room and once inside my backpack which was in the living room. Again he only does this to my stuff.

So I had forgiven the cat assuming that he was probably adjusting to the new place and that this has all happened before he had been fixed and the major issues (the piss issues) seemed to have stopped. or so I thought.....

Last night I get into bed and am lying there for a minute when I notice that my covers are unusually cold. After a second I realize that they are in fact damp, I jump up realizing that it must be cat piss and flip on the light. So not only did the cat piss on my bed (wetting the covers, sheets and mattress). HE SHIT ON MY BED! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm not talking a few little pieces here, this was a full on dump, like 5 or 6 turds, probably the biggest a cat can hold)

If it was a dog doing all of this I would have to forgive it for not knowing any better like the slobbering idiots that they are. But cats are smart so I must assume that he is purposely fucking with me because he dislikes me. Well from now on the cat and I are enemies (I feel like a character in some ridiculous Disney movie where they pin an animal against a person with ridiculous slapstick results, that mentally deficient 7 year olds would find funny.... the problem is that if thats the case I'm fucked.. the animal always wins in those movies and I will end up looking like a bumbling idiot) Whatever the case I'm going to go take a crap in the cats litter box and see how he likes it.

Selina Whittaker Photography

I recently designed a website for my friend Selina. You can check it out here: http://www.selinawhittakerphotography.com

Her work is really good. If you live in the Vancouver area and you need a wedding photographer or a photographer for other reasons you should definitely contact her.

Really Bad Tattoos Part 6

Yesterday I read an article about a mechanic who had a car fetish in which he would literally have sex with the cars he worked on. He also had an online community devoted to this fetish and claimed that there were over 500 members. This has nothing to do with the above tattoos I just wanted to mention it

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I love doing laundry and I think I always will. TIME TO GET A TATTOO!!!

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These 3 are so ridiculous that I actually kind of like them. Do you think when the tattoo artist finished the woman tat he took a step back and said to himself "Another job well done". Also when I first saw the "Fuck the World" tattoo I literally laughed out loud.

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Contemporary political statements don't make for the best tattoo choices, I mean George W. will be out of office in less than 2 years now. There are probably people out there with Reagan tats that feel kinda foolish right now.

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Speaking of contemporary... This reminds me of this old man I know who got a tattoo of telegraph machine when they were the hot thing (his tat also has OMFG written in morse code on it).

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bad joke

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Check out:
Really Bad Tattoos Part 1
Really Bad Tattoos Part 2
REally Bad Tattoos Part 3
Really Bad Tattoos Part 4
Really Bad Tattoos Part 5
Really Bad Tattoos Part 7
Really Bad Tattoos Part 8

The Academy vs the Public

Seeing as its oscar season I thought about investigating a certian topic. How often does the academy vote with the general public? Generally the Imdb is a pretty good representation of the general public's movie opinion (well its about the best one we're going to get, at least for this little project)

Below I have included all the times in the past 20 years that the academy picked a best picture that had a lower user rating than another nominee.

2003

Winner:

• Chicago - 7.4

Other Nominees:

· Gangs of New York - 7.2

· Hours, The - 7.6

· Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The - 8.7

· Pianist, The - 8.4

2002

Winner:

• Beautiful Mind, A - 7.8

Other Nominees:

· Gosford Park - 7.2

· In the Bedroom - 7.4

· Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The - 8.7

· Moulin Rouge! - 7.7

The results may be a tad skewed for 2002 and 2003 because we have to assume that there are a fairly large number of LOTR fanboys voting in drones. Personally I never understood why everyone had such a hard on for those movies. They just didn't do it for me. One thing is for damn sure though. The Pianist should have beaten that piece of shit Chicago.

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1999

Winner:

• Shakespeare in Love - 7.4

Other Nominees:

· Elizabeth - 7.6

· Saving Private Ryan - 8.4

· Thin Red Line, The - 7.3

· Vita è bella, La - 8.4

I remember this year vividly and how bizarre it was that Shakespeare in Love won especially over Saving Private Ryan and Life is Beautiful. I guess I'm not alone.

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1998

Winner:

• Titanic - 7.0

Other Nominees:

· As Good as It Gets - 7.7

· Full Monty, The - 7.2

· Good Will Hunting - 7.9

· L.A. Confidential - 8.4

Now here is a really anomalous year. The winner has the lowest rating of all the nominees and it really deserves the lowest. Lets face it Titanic wasn't a great movie it was a fucking fad. Over hyped nonsense. Although I do have to say it was a pretty good story, I mean I totally didn't expect the ship to sink.

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1997

Winner:

• English Patient, The - 7.1

Other Nominees:

· Fargo - 8.2

· Jerry Maguire - 7.2

· Secrets & Lies - 7.8

· Shine - 7.5

The funny thing about this year is that I have absolutely no memory of the movies Secrets & Lies or Shine.

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1995

Winner:

• Forrest Gump - 8.3

Other Nominees:

· Four Weddings and a Funeral - 7.1

· Pulp Fiction - 8.8

· Quiz Show - 7.4

· Shawshank Redemption, The - 9.2

Ok this may go down as the biggest academy fuck up ever. FORREST GUMP BEAT SHAWSHANK??? Shawshank is the imdb's second highest rated movie of all time (right behind the Godfather). Forrest Gump is a movie in which Tom Hanks acted like an idiot. hmmm oh and Gary Sinise was in it too..... WHAT???? can we revoke oscars???? (We'll pick that one up on the way to Halle Berry's house) .

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1992

Winner:

• Silence of the Lambs, The - 8.6

Other Nominees:

· Beauty and the Beast - 7.8

· Bugsy - 6.6

· JFK - 7.9

· Prince of Tides, The - 6.2

Interesting facts this year. Prince of tides is the lowest rated best picture nominee of the past 20 years, while Terminator 2: Judgment day (8.3) is nowhere to be found.

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1991

Winner:

• Dances with Wolves - 7.8

Other Nominees:

· Awakenings - 7.4

· Ghost - 6.8

· Godfather: Part III, The - 7.4

· Goodfellas - 8.7

Its funny that Godfather 3 is regarded as a joke and that Ghost is regarded as one of Patrick Swayze's best movies. But look at the ratings. I actually saw Swayze the other day at some really low budget dive bar. I asked him if he was filming a sequel to "Roadhouse" he said no and then took my drink order.

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1990

• Driving Miss Daisy - 7.4

Other Nominees:

· Born on the Fourth of July - 7.0

· Dead Poets Society - 7.7

· Field of Dreams - 7.6

· My Left Foot - 7.6

So there you have it. Of the last 20 Academy Awards 9 didnt go with the public's popular opinion.