Poor Mans Actor part 3

 

Krysten Ritter is the poor mans Anne Hathaway

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Katy Perry is the poor mans Zooey Deschanel

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Josh Duhamel is the poor mans Timothy Olyphant

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Missy Peregrym is the poor mans Hillary Swank

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Nancy Mckeon is the poor mans Jonathan Taylor Thomas

 

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Nancy Grace is the poor mans Eddie Izzard in drag

Poor Man's Actor Part 2

Rachel Blanchard is the poor man's Alicia Silverstone

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Monica Potter is the poor man's Julia Roberts

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Benjamin Mackenzie is the poor man's Russel Crowe

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Mark Harmon is the poor man's Kevin Costner

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Zachary Levi (guy from show "Chuck") is the poor man's Jimmy Fallon

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The Kid from the Dennis the Menace movie is the poor man's Dakota Fanning

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John Cryer is the poor man's Matthew Broderick

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Elias Koteas is the poor man's Christopher Meloni

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Aaron Ashmore is the poor man's Shawn Ashmore

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John Leguizamo is annoying as hell... please don't put him in any more movies.

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Check Out:

Poor Man's Actor Part 1

Astar the robot: I can put my arm back on you can't 1980's War Amps PSA

First off I have to say that I have been searching for this PSA for a long long time. I even emailed the War Amps a few different times to try and obtain a copy but to no avail. So I am really glad that it is now online and available for all to view. I am happy that I am able to share it with you and offer a bit of info for those not in the know.

Anyone that grew up in the 1980's in Ontario (possibly all of Canada...possibly the US as well... I'm not sure) will remember this spot. Not only because it was played a lot when we were growing up but because I don't think that anyone who saw this PSA even once would ever forget it. This is by far the greatest and most effective PSA ever created in my opinion. Growing up I never knew anyone who lost a limb and I like to think that Astar is directly responsible for that.

Even as a kid this commercial creeped me out and raised many questions. 2 things that I could never figure out: Is Astar a male or female? And does Astar cut off his/her arm off on purpose? Or is it an accident? Knowing that he/she can put their arm back on I always wondered if he/she did it on purpose for our benefit (ya know as the lesson trying to be taught).

But I think what I find most confusing that I only really realize now watching the video (probably a concept that my childhood brain couldn't properly wrap itself around) is the question of Astar's existence in relation to the planet that he/she lives on. Is the planet inhabited by Astar and other robots? Do the spinning blades and saws and other dangerous items acutaly serve some sort of a purpose? Are they a part of some elaborate factory that is producing something? Is Astar supposed to be playing in this area? It is understood that Astar cannot get hurt so is it acceptable for he/she and other robots to just come and go as they please in these dangerous areas? Or is Astar a rebel? We don't see any other robots or companions with Astar. Is Astar the sole inhabitant of this planet? I guess in general how does that planet fit into our (or its) universe? It would be great to see some sort of back story.

Seriously though this is the greatest PSA of all time.

The Price is Right Bob Barker Retires

On Friday June 15th Bob Barker's last episode of The Price is Right aired. At the end of it the only mention he made of this fact was a "thank you for inviting me into your homes for the past 50 years" and of course the standard don't forget to get your pets nuts chopped off.

There has been a lot of talk about Bob Barkers replacement because they plan on keeping the show going. Its hard to imagine anyone else doing it and I think either of these scenarios will occur the show will either continue as it always has no matter who hosts it or a new host will be brought in and the show will crash and burn in a short period of time.

There are things I like and dislike about the show. Well the only thing I really don't like about it is that its essentially an hour long commercial (with commercial breaks). The Good: The fact that they have keep the same 70's era look the entire time is fantastic. Its also great how the contestants are literally average people (who have no idea they are going to be on until they are called) this results in some contestants who are extremely fucked up which of course is great. No other game show has such a "regular" cross section of people. Also you have to love the DIY t-shirt aspect of the show. I would love someone to open a Price is Right T-shirt museum that is filled with literally tens of thousands of handmade and one of a kind shirts.

One thing I always wondered is: How many times has Bob Barker heard the theme song? Well the theme song plays 9 times per episode (the intro, after each 6 contestants games, after showcase showdown number 1 and the closing credits (there is a different song after showdown number 2)). So it turns out Barker hosted 6,731 shows so he has heard the theme song 60,579 times. HOLY SHIT... I bet no that now that he doesn't do the show anymore he is going to crave that song. I don't think he'll be able to complete a 2 minute task without expecting to hear that tune.

One thing that I've always wanted to see on price is someone try and spin the wheel the wrong way. someday...... someday.

On the Lot - Season Premiere: the pitches

On the lot is a new reality show about a group of aspiring movie directors all vieing for a prize of a million dollar contract with Dreamworks. On the first episode their task was to pitch a movie idea based on one of the following five concepts. I'm glad I didn't have to pitch one of them because this is what I think of when given the ideas...

A slacker applies to the C.I.A. as a joke and is accepted.
At first glance this concept seems like it could only be a comedy and it would have to star some idiot like Pauly Shore (well Pauly Shore if it was the early 90's) in this day and age it would have to star another idiot like.... lets say Jamie Kennedy. The problem is that this movie would never ever ever ever be even remotely funny (not on any level) it would be... well it would be your standard Pauly Shore or Jamie Kennedy movie... ie. ghastly unfunny. I want to take this film in a different direction. The film will be a drama. Not just any drama an utterly dry, 100% serious comedy free drama.(*) The slacker character is not a slacker in the sense of a stoner who sits on the couch eating cheeto's watching Maury but a slacker in the sense that he is so morbidly depressed that he can barely bring himself to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. He applies to the C.I.A. not as a prank joke like a bunch of half drunk frat boys would find funny but more like a man with such low self esteem attempting to yet again self sabotage himself with an attempt at a job that he feels he would never get. The reasons are unclear why he is actually hired but he isn't hired as some sort of C.I.A. field agent as you may be thinking. He is hired for some sort of lowly data entry clerk type position. He takes the job and basically goes unnoticed and continues his utterly mundane and mediocre existence. This film has very little dialog or even movement. Picture long scenes shot in drab monotone colours of a pathetic looking man staring blankly at walls and such. Movie will star the C list equivalent of Tobey Maguire. The film will be a box office and critical failure but the universe will be better off without another Jamie Kennedy movie.

A man sees his face on the news described as missing or wanted.
Ok this one has to be done in a Phillip K. Dick style of confusing duality etc. So the guy see's himself wanted on the news for some major crime. He has to go on the run to try and figure it all out. Much to his surprise he finds out he has a twin brother . But it turns out that his twin brother actually cloned himself and the clone is the one wanted by the police. The guy finally comes face to face with the clone and the clone tells the guy (the original guy) that he is the clone and not him. So the dude can't figure out if he really is a clone or if he has a twin brother or if he has a twin brother and a twin brother clone. In the end it turns out that there are no clones and that they are identical triplets and the original guy actually was the one wanted by the police because he would commit crimes at night while sleep walking.... actually no fuck it... he would commit crimes at night because he was a werewolf........................ who was actually a clone of his twin brothers werewolf. FUCK YEAH!!!.... I have to work on this one a bit to make it more confusing clonefusing.

A mouse is captured by a pharmaceutical company and must plan his escape.
This would work in the style of Watership down and the Plague dogs. Someone get Richard Adams we have a job for him. Seriously this movie would suck balls if it was like Stuart Little because Stuart Little sucked balls.(**) But if it had a dark edge to it. Animals trying to survive in the world against mysterious and sinister human's who seem capable of nothing but evil. Could be a winner.

A priest meets the woman of his dreams before he is to be ordained.
He becomes a priest and then fucks the broad anyway. Jesus is not impressed.(***) PASS!

A crate bound for a secret military base is delivered to a suburban family.
This one IS a comedy but one geared towards unimaginative/mentally deficient 7 year olds. Tom Arnold is the head of the family his wife is played by the Redheaded Woman from the "Problem Child" movies his son is played by that annoying kid Frankie Muniz who played Malcolm in the middle and the daughter is some other prat. The crate comes to their house but its only filled with styrofoam cups. Some psuedo sinister guy from the military base is sent to try and retrieve the case. He will be played by someone with a moustache. Its one of those movies where people over act and make a big deal about stupid things and ends up getting a 2.1 on the IMDB.

* By creating a film that is 100% serious it will actually be funnier than if it was the Jamie Kennedy comedy.... you just got X'ed

** I've never actually seen Stuart Little

*** I realize that this may in fact be the most offensive think I have ever written... but fuck it. (if yr easily offended what the fuck are you doing on this site?)

Are you smarter than a 5th grader: fake, phony, fixed, set up, staged, scam

ok so the post title is a bit harsh but something about this show doesn't seem right. I noticed the second time I saw the show that the one kid Laura was also the kid I had just seen on the Sarah Silverman show (she has now left 5th grader because she is going to be a series). So the kids are actors? They present the show as if a regular adult is competing against a regular 5th grader. This is not the case. If you've noticed the kids wear the same clothes every episode so its basically just a gimmic. The kids are nothing more than game show props. I said early on while watching it that I guarantee that the producers (or whoever) are feeding the kids the answers and its been pre-determined which ones they are going to get wrong and right etc.

if you read the fine print it says that the kids were provided workbooks that "could have provided the basis" for questions used in the show. I think thats a safe way of saying they've been fed the answers.

To be fair I don't think this is any more staged than any of Mark Burnett's productions or most game shows for that matter.

The show would be way better if it was set up in a price is right style with a big audience and at the beginning the randomly pulled real 5th graders and contestants out of the audience..... but that ain't gonna happen.

Hostage Situation

Anyone who knows who Nancy Grace is knows that she's the fakest fucking person on Television. I mean she's phonier than a 7 dollar bill, Styrofoam is more natural than this bitch. Anyway last week she interviewed Elizabeth Smart (the girl who was kidnapped from her room when she was 14) Grace Feigned the most contrived sympathy imaginable and kept pressing Elizabeth with really inappropriate questions. Eventually Elizabeth verbally "bitch slaps" Grace. You can see it in this video its worth checking out just to see Grace put in her place.

Speaking of Kidnapping, you know how in movies a common theme (where kidnapping is concerned) is someone is kidnapped and then held for a large ransom only to have the whole plan eventually foiled. My question is: Has there ever been a successful ransom kidnapping in the history of the world? If movies have taught us anything it's that it never works yet people try it all the time. The scenarios even get more and more complex yet the bad guys are always foiled.

The only Ransom kidnapping that I can actually recall is when Patty Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army, but she ended up joining them so it may have been inside job (although there is a claim that she had the Stockholm Syndrome).

Side note: the SLA has a bad-ass logo which I think would look cool on a t-shirt apart from the fact that they are considered a terrorist organization and I they're into some pretty dodgy stuff

Thoughts

- green olives really are the poor mans black olives. Seriously!

- 2 of the greatest 1980's punk records ever are Operation Ivy: Energy & Hectic and Minor Threat: Complete Discography. Both are each bands complete discography. LEGENDARY!

- Rosemary is an interesting herb, I haven't really decided if I love it or not, it works on some things but I just had it on a foccacia pizza type thing and I'm not sure.

- I saw an episode to Iron Chef America the other day and the secret ingredient was bison. Several times it was referred to as having a "gamey" taste to it. I don't really know what "gamey" meat tastes like but I find the whole concept hilarious.

- "Date Movie" is insulting to the human race and I'll even go as far as to say that it (and things like it) make us devolve as a society. (When I say its insulting to the human race I don't mean its insulting in the way that "Wonder Showzen" is subversive yet clever, and hilarious.)

-The other day I ordered a decaf coffee and the girl gave me a regular coffee (I saw her pour it from the regular pot, I don't think they had any decaf brewed) She knew she gave me regular and I knew she gave me regular but I don't think she knew I knew. So anyway I went back a few days later and ordered another decaf from the same girl and looked her straight in the eye and said make sure its decaf, I have a heart condition and I just got out of the hospital... again. The look on her face was priceless.

-You know you can't get Count Chocula here anymore, the least healthy shit you can get is Lucky Charms and that's hardly even that bad. When I was a kid they had that cereal that was just mini chocolate cookies... Cookie Crisp I think.

no loss for words

Check out this excerpt from a conversation between Michael and Eko from the last episode of Lost.

Michael: I hear you're a priest
Eko: yes
Michael: I guess you believe in hell then
Eko: For a brief time I served in a small parish in England, and Every Sunday after mass I would see a young boy waiting at the back of the church. Then one day the boy confessed to me that he had beaten his dog to death with a shovel, he said that the dog had bitten his baby sister on the cheek and he needed to protect her and he wanted to know whether he would go to hell for this. I told him that God would understand, that he would be forgiven as long as he was sorry, but the boy did not care about forgiveness, he was only afraid that if he did go to hell that dog would be there waiting for him.

end of scene.

How fucking awesome is that. I'm definitely going to start talking like that, just answering questions with hard hitting, moral cautionary tales that are completely suited and relevant for the occasion. Seriously though why do we accept things in TV and the movies that are so far from reality, No one talks like that in real life. I wish they did though. No more small talk no more bullshit, everything that is said has an explicit purpose and is chock full of symbolism and foreshadowing. How strange would that be?

Random Musings

TV Series: Every morning while I eat my breakfast and drink my green tea I like to watch an episode of a selected TV series. Watching a series in sequence day to day is so much better than watching it on TV, you don't have to wait a week for the next episode and there are no commercials. Right now I am watching "Twin Peaks". What a great show. There were only 2 seasons before it was cancelled. Fans of the show say that it was ahead of its time and I guess it was to a certain extent. It was on when I was a kid and I always remember it was known as a weird show, but watching it today it is certainly no weirder than "Lost" and definitely less cryptic. Anyway "Twin Peaks" has some interesting parental connections to modern day stars. Russ Tamblyn who played Dr. Lawrence Jacoby is Amber Tamblyn's (Joan of Arcadia)Father. Mary Jo Deschanel who played Eileen Hayward is Zooey Deschanel (Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy) and Emily Deschanel's (Bones) mother. Grace Zabriskie who played Sarah Palmer and Warren Frost who played Dr. William Hayward played The Ross' in Seinfeld (Susan's (George's fiance) parents).

Actors: I've mentioned before that I dislike Vin Diesel, well I have more reason. I saw him on both Conan and Letterman this week and he told the same lame anecdote on both shows. I hate that shit. Are you so unimaginative and uninspired that you can't come up with more than one story.? This is also one of the reasons that I really dislike Terrance Howard. When he was promoting "Hustle and Flow" I saw him tell the same pimp story in every fucking interview he did. The guy sucks. As far as I'm concerned he's the poor mans Benicio Del Torro.

Signs: You know how on the door of basically every store in the free world it says "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service". This leads me to this question: Was there a point in time when the streets were rampant with shoeless shirtless people? If yes was that time the 1960's? I just can't envision a time when this must have gotten so out of hand that all business' unanimously proclaimed "We must do something about this!!!!". Oh yeah pets too. I guess people used to just walk into stores wearing nothing but shorts with a few dogs and cats maybe an iguana or two and the store owners couldn't really do shit.

Food (sort of): So I have this can of non-stick cooking spray and as I was spraying it on a cookie sheet the other day I noticed the best before date on the bottom. It read Best Before OCT 2606. I started to envision future generations auctioning off the cooking spray for exorbenant amounts of money as an edible product from 600 years ago. It would be like us finding something from 1406 that was still edible. Obviously the date is meant to read Oct. 26th 2006 but what fun would that be.

As long as we've got each other

The other night on Larry King live there was a "Growing Pains Reunion". I was watching it during the commercials of something else (I swear). I'm always interested in these situations to see how the actors justify their current career without admitting to the fact that they're golden days of stardom are long in the past.

As they were going around the table asking everyone what they were up to I couldn't wait for it to get to Jeremy Miller (who played Ben Seaver). This guy disappeared! I mean he vanished faster than a lazy roommate when its time to clean the kitchen. So he says he's been doing acting work in China. But here's the disturbing part Growing Pains is apparently huge in China due to the fact that they only ever have 2 American shows playing there at one time.

According to Alan Thicke in the 80's the only 2 American shows were Growing Pains and Hunter (if you remember Hunter its even stranger that it was the only other show to play). To compound all of this they said that in China they don't think of Growing Pains as a comedy. They take is as a serious show which teaches life lessons etc. The show did have a fair bit of veiled preachyness but what I find disturbing is that there may be a generation of Chinese people who think that growing pains is an accurate representation of the average American family. I mean if that's the only window they were given into the American life its quite possible.

I am also trying to imagine a situation where all the Chinese government officials were sitting around picking through all the 80s sitcoms for one that would be acceptable.

Full House - Possible homosexual undertones OUT
Cheers - Promotes lavish and excessive western gluttony OUT
Perfect Strangers - Balki???????? OUT
Family Ties - Alex P. Keaton is an obvious capitalist OUT
Alf - Family harbors alien but doesn't report it OUT
The Cosby Show - Family with 4 daughters?? OUT
Night Court - Democratic justice system OUT
Growing Pains - Father works from home, Mother is professional, 3 kids, morally wholesome, Mikes best friend's name is Boner IN

Idol worship (American style)

American Idol is back and as great as ever. For those of you who haven't read all the posts on this site I will have to do a recap on a few points. For me American Idol would be what most people call a guilty pleasure except I think that the concept of guilty pleasures is bullshit and I'm not going to let anyone dictate how I should or shouldn't feel about things (and in this case pop music).

To re-iterate my points on pop music: You can only really hate pop music if you are confused by its motivations. But lets get it straight pop music is nothing but candy. It's overtly sugary, it offers no sustenance and too much of it will make you feel sick. It's unfair to complain about pop music by comparing to other forms of music because that's like comparing a healthy and substantial meal to a bag of lollipops and pixie sticks. Pop music has its place in the musical landscape but you cant live on it because you are in danger of dying of malnutrition.

Now that those points have been reinforced onto American Idol. I am a huge fan of music (all art really) and I think what I am drawn to primarily is truth and honesty. A lot of people tend to think that pop music and specifically American Idol have no merit and lack any type of credibility. But In the musical spectrum some people aren't meant to be songwriters. They are best suited as a singer/performer of songs. And just because someone doesn't write a song themselves doesn't mean that they are incapable of performing with powerful conviction and/or emotion. The singers that are truly great take the time to find something they can relate to in a piece and sing it sincere emotion. When a good singer sings a good song you can feel it. And although there are usually only a few truly amazing moments or songs per season of American Idol when it happens it is a great thing to see.

Ignoring the musical aspect of the show American Idol is completely in step with modern society. We live in immediate times where we want everything now! now! now! And generally don't care if it is disposable and forgettable. In this situation we want the product before it exists. This isn't a case where the end justifies the means. The means justify the means. Being a fan of the show doesn't mean that I would ever in a million years buy a CD from any of the contestants (or even be able to recall the names of anyone lower than the top 3 from the year previous). This doesn't even matter though. The album sales are nowhere near the millions and millions who watch the show but as I stated above we are buying the process not the product (and they make enough money on the show that they really couldn't care less if the artist is successful afterwards or not). Its like that show on the discovery channel where you see how stuff is made in a factory. No one (well almost no one) is running out and buying the stuff they see made at the end of the show but watching how it goes from raw goods to the store shelf is the fascinating part.

I just want to add that I predict at this early point that Paris Bennett will be in the top 12

Baywatch Memories

Found this pic on awfulplasticsurgery.com. Remember that kid who played Hasselhoff's son Hobie on Batwatch? Well this is him now. I find it strange that he's only 25 yet he looks like a washed up 45 year old european pop star.

5 shitty sitcoms that begin with the letter M

Now I realize that criticizing sitcoms is redundant. 99.9% (Seinfeld probably being the only exception to the rule) of them are total crap, relying on the lowest common denominator of comedy all intertwined with a nauseating laugh track.

Major Dad
I have long been of the belief that Major Dad is one of the worst sitcoms of all time. The less said about it the better.
















Mama's Family
When I was a kid I remember that there was a half hour after school where nothing good was on. The only show I remember being on during that void was the torturous Mama's Family. What a fucking abomination. I would rather watch that sitcom where the family has a daughter who's a robot.**






Mr. Belvedere
or as anyone who was in it calls it "acting career poison" was a painful spectacle where a fat imperious British housekeeper moves in with a family for... who the hell cares why. If it had turned out to be true that the kid from this show was Marilyn Manson that would have been the best thing about it. But that's like saying "The best thing about regaining consciousness in a ditch after getting hit in head with a shovel and having your wallet stolen is the fact that you're getting some fresh air from being outside."

Murphy Brown
For some reason this show was popular and was on for like 10 years. That's 10 years that the broadcast world will never get back. It disturbs me that these broadcasts are still floating through space somewhere, one day to be picked up by an alien race who will surely plot the earth's destruction for producing such tripe.



My Two Dads
Most people don't remember this one. Here is the premise. 13 years in the past 2 guys were dating the same woman. They reunite in the present at the reading of the woman's will to find out that they are both to share custody of a 12 year old girl because she didn't know who the real father was. The one guy (unfortunately played by Paul Reiser) is the uptight guy and the other guy is the artistic free spirit type. They all move in together. This is one of those bullshit premises that would never fly in today's age of DNA tests and it probably shouldn't have flown late 80's either.

** In case you're trying to remember the show where they had the robot daughter was called "Small Wonder".

tags:TV, Sitcoms, entertainment,

Reality shows popularity waning

When reality shows first hit the scene I resisted them full force and refused to watch them on basic principle. I didn't see a single episode of Survivor Season 1 until the night of the finale. Before going out a friend and I turned it on for about 5 minutes, we decided we had to leave the house because we could feel ourselves getting sucked in. That night at the bar it was extremely quiet (maybe 5 people in the whole place) I imagined that everyone was having a Survivor party and watching the show in droves (they must have been, it had been all anyone could talk about for months). I was stubborn and wanted in no way to give in to this new TV trend.

This all changed when I found myself working in a job that was in essence a
sinecure. I had nothing better to do than watch TV and seeing as this was still supposed to be a job the TV didn't have cable and therefore I only got 2 channels who's reception was relatively clear. I learned something interesting about myself while in this position: I could watch the most ridiculously terrible crap day in and day out if I had nothing better to do (or was too lazy to do something else). I literally watched the soap opera "Passions" for 2 years straight while absolutely despising it with every fiber of my being. (eventually I accepted the show. But in my defense I think they got new writers). The passions thing is a separate issue but I did start watching reality shows when they were on and in most cases I didn't hate them the way I had convinced myself I should.

If Jerry Springer and COPS have taught us anything its that drama and conflict are entertaining and can pass as a viable TV show. Reality shows are based on this doctrine, without it they're nothing. I personally find that the closer a show gets to the finale the less interesting it becomes. I watched the entire season of last years Apprentice except the final 2, by that point there are so few contestants left that it becomes more of a serious competition and I couldn't care less about the actual outcome. In reality TV the end doesn't justify the means, the means justifies the means. This formula doesn't work if you want your show to have longevity, essentially you are making the equivalent of a popcorn movie. Its entertaining for the time you spend watching it but it utterly forgettable. I have to really think to remember the people who won all the reality shows I've seen let alone all the jackasses who got voted off in the early weeks of the shows.

Of course American Idol is the exception to the rule. Because they are working along to an actual goal, we are more likely to hear about them when the thing is all done, but no one who placed lower than the top 2 (unless you banged Paula Abdul). So in actuality it isn't the exception to the rule. The show still has the conflict and drama they just condense most of it into the audition stage of the show and 90% (actually 83.34%) of the finalists are forgotten (especially Josh Gracin).

I guess I should get to the point of this post. All the reality shows (including the flagship Survivor) are dropping in the ratings. It seems that people's interest is moving back to scripted drama's like the monster hit "Lost". This isn't a bad thing because the reality template is getting pretty worn out. I'm sure the big shows will stick around for quite a while longer but we probably wont see many more flash in the pan's like the "Temptation Island"s or the "Average Joe"s anymore.

tags:tv, reality tv, entertainment

The Office

I Originally wrote off the first season of the American office after seeing the pilot episode because it was a poor cookie cutter version of the British version. At that point I had seen the entire 2 seasons and the holiday special so I really didn't want to watch the whole story played out again. So up until this season I had only seen 1 episode of season 1. This all changed when I caught an episode of season 2 a couple of weeks ago, the show has definitely come into its own. The basic premise is the same but they are rolling with a different storyline all together. Steve Carell is the perfect person to play the boss character, he does it brilliantly. I literally cannot picture another (American) actor who could putt it off as well as him. Its also a refreshing change to see a show that features "average" looking people. I don't know how the show is doing in the ratings (its on NBC who are in last place of the big 4 networks) but I hope it can finish its run.

tags:tv, entertainment, the office

The cast of full house... Where are they now?

Well we all know that the Olsen twins are the worlds richest 18 year old anorexic coke heads (who knew that the straight to video market was so lucrative) but what happened to the rest of the cast from full house.

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John ( 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T) Stamos - Jesse Katsopolis
When Stamos finally figured out that being in a 90's version of the Beach boys really wasn't that cool his acting career had gone the way of Brian Wilson's music career. Stamos needed a plan (actually he needed a meal ticket) so he married Rebecca Romijn. Eventually Rebecca got sick of working while Stamos sat on the couch watching Saved by the Bell re-runs so she divorced him.

last seen:Drawing up papers to try and take half or Rebecca's money.

most likely to: Put out a classified ad asking if anyone needs a bongo drum player.

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Bob (the poor mans Jeff Goldblum) Saget - Danny Tanner
Since the show Saget has done little more than make a cameo in "Half Baked" in which he played a true to life character. He reportedly did months and months of first hand research to properly get into the role. One important thing to note Saget did win the coveted "Worst Comedian alive" award since full house (I am 100% serious about that).

last seen:Writing threatening letters to Tom Bergeran (the current host of Americas Funniest Home Videos).

most likely to:Try and beat up Tom Bergeran. (when Saget appears on Hollywood Squares).

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Dave (I swear I dated Alanis Morrisette) Coulier - Joey Gladstone
Coulier thought a little stint on the Surreal life would revive his career but upon realizing that the only part of him that could make any money was his kidney Dave "cut it out" and sold it on the black market.

last seen:Hanging out on the streets with a sign that says "Will impersonate Bullwinkle for food". Needless to say he's hungry.

most likely to:Be caught in bed with a Jakelope.

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Lori (I was hot once wasn't I?) Loughlin - Rebecca "Becky" Katsopolis - Donaldson
Lori's Character Rebecca may be best remembered as Jesse's bitch wife who destroyed his chances of
being a rock star in Japan (at least that's all I remember of her)

last seen:On a soon to be canceled TV series.

most likely to:Appear in a made for TV movie, leaving the audience saying "hey she kinda looks familiar, ahh who cares change the channel".

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After doing some research it seems that the girls from full house have (for the most part) left the world of entertainment to follow "regular" lives. It doesn't seem right to make fun of them seeing as it was humiliation enough to have been on full house for all those years.

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Candace (Keep your stick on the ice) Cameron - DJ Tanner
As you may have heard Candace married a hockey player and had a couple kids, what you may not know is that she is a hardcore religious freak.

last seen:Converting the non-believers.

most likely to:Convince her brother Kirk to check into rehab.

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Jodie (I was the annoying one) Sweetin - Stephanie Tanner
Jodie is also married now and rumor has it she wants to start directing.

last seen:Answering questions about the Olsen twins.

most likely to:Never be seen again.

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Andrea Barber - Kimmy Gibbler
Andrea went to school to study psychology. Considering the people she was surrounded by in her formative years it should come as no surprise.

last seen:Writing her thesis on the topic "The devastating effects of Saget and Couliers jokes on a child's brain"

most likely to:Make a future appearance with Screech and Erkel in a show entitled "The worst sitcom characters of all time".

tags: tv, entertainment, Full House, humor