Black Sheep - Toronto International Film Festival

I attended the world premiere of New Zealand director Jonathan Kings feature film debut "Black Sheep". The basic story is that an experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a rural town in New Zealand. The film is a mix of comedy, horror and gore that pays tribute to many films in the same vein of the past. Weta workshop (of Lord of the Rings fame) worked on the animatronic puppets and the special make up effects.

All in all the film was average, although it was great to see a movie made with no CGI and actual puppets etc ( I much prefer this method as I despise CGI) it still fell flat in many areas.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Toronto International Film Festival

When my brothers and I got tickets to the 31st annual Toronto International Film Festival one film was at the top of all our lists. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. The problem was that the movie was at the top of a lot of peoples lists. Even though we had advance tickets and had our choice of films before the general public it was still sold out almost immediately.

It seemed like there was no chance that we would see this movie until it came out in wide release (Which is Nov. 3rd so its not that bad)
Huge cash was being paid for any tickets people were willing to part with (one American fellow paid $400) .

(The following is information I have gathered from other festival goers)
The night of the screening (Thursday 11:59) Borat showed up to the red carpet on a wagon pulled by four peasant women with his horse beside him giving air "high fives" to the crowd (see pic above). He then proceeded to give interviews to the press. Also speaking to the press was Michael Moore who was there to see the movie. Eventually everyone proceeded into the theatre.

At the festival they have what's called a "rush line" this is a line that you can stand in to get the tickets of anyone that didn't show up, so after they let in all the ticket holders they go around and count how many extra seats are left and then let that many from the rush line in. Even though the 1,260 seater was completely sold out the rush line had hundreds of people in it and the one's at the front had been waiting for about 8 hours. At final count they let 4 people from the rush line in.

After all that anticipation the film started and the projector broke down after about 10 minutes. They scrambled around trying to fix it (even Michael Moore who used to be a projectionist took a crack at trying to get it going). Borat, director Larry Charles and even Moore stood on stage and answered questions from the audience. As time went on it became clear that they were not going to get the projector fixed . The screening was moved to Friday night at the Elgin Theatre. Bad news for some, but great news for us. The Elgin is a bigger theatre so more tickets were available and we got tickets to the show.

The basic story of the film is that the Kazakhi government has sent Borat to the US (specifically New York City) to learn from American culture to better Kazakhstan, but when Borat sees Pamela Anderson's character C.J. on a re-run of Baywatch he falls in love and decides he must travel to California so he can marry her. Really though the story isn't important, its just an excuse for Borat to travel the country and interview unsuspecting people in his trademark style. I think the brilliance of the character is that you never question the character of Borat. Sacha Baron Cohen has the character so well refined that it doesn't seem like you're watching him play Borat, its just Borat. The film is easily one of the funniest and most offensive I've seen in years, well only offensive if you take any of it seriously. Cohen also has a great ability of making people expose their most ridiculous prejudices candidly on film with no remorse. In fact he describes the film as a "dramatic demonstration of how racism feeds on dumb conformity, as much as rabid bigotry." Happy Time!

* During the Q an A on opening night some asked Moore if he had seen "Team America"? He said "not yet, but I hear I get blown up"

** Michael Moore was also at the re-screening on Friday night as well as Dustin Hoffman

The Devil and Daniel Johnston

I first heard Daniel Johnston in 1995 when 2 of his songs ("Casper" and "Casper the Friendly Ghost") appeared on the "Kids" Soundtrack. I bought that soundtrack as soon as it came out because at the time I was a really big Sebadoh/Sentridoh/Folk Implosion/Lou Barlow fan (I was a 17 year old stoner at the time... what else would you expect). Anyway when I heard that the soundtrack was coming out that had 9 Lou Barlow project songs on it I had to have it, and of course I listened to it tons of times. At the time I partially wrote off Johnston as a novelty act "Casper the friendly ghost" was recorded in an extremely lo-fi fashion with what sounds like a toy organ and Johnston's unique voice. It wasn't that I disliked the song I guess I just had a hard time taking it completely seriously (remember I was 17 at the time). The funny thing is that as time went on I noticed that I often had "Casper the friendly ghost" pop into my head. Years after the fact I can barely remember any of the Lou Barlow songs on that soundtrack yet I would catch myself with lines from "Casper the friendly ghost" like "He was smiling through his own personal hell, dropped his last dime in a wishing well..." running through my mind. So I thought that if this song could have stuck with me for this long, there must be something to this Daniel Johnston character, I should get some of his records and find out what his story is. When I finally got some full recordings, I understood the genius that was Daniel Johnston.

Anyone that knows anything about Johnston knows that he has battled mental illness for some time and there are stories that seem almost too bizarre to be true surrounding his life and career. When I heard that they were making a documentary about him I couldn't wait to see it. Well....... I finally saw it and I have to say it doesn't disappoint. The story is tragic in many ways but beautiful in many ways too. I really don't want to say too much about the film but I would recommend it to anyone who is a fan or a fan of a good documentary. Watch the trailer if you need more convincing.

Don't tip the delivery boy

Lately I've had some encounters with some pretty down and out creatures. To start off a few weeks ago I walked to the store for some late night groceries and on the way came face to face with 2 sknunks who seemed to be fighting each other (or loving each other) either way I figured they might be about to go off if I was anywhere near, so I got the hell out of there. If that wasn't strange enough when I got home I noticed the next door neighbor cat sitting on my porch looking extremely interested at what was going on in the kitchen. I looked in the window to see a bat flying around the house. The bat catching story is a long one but lets just say that after 2 hours he was outside again.

Unrelated to that today I was eating some leftover pizza which had been ordered a few days earlier and had been in the fridge and three quarters into the second slice I noticed something strange. The slice had 2 separate clusters of little white things on it. It looked strange so I looked at the remaining slices to see if it was some kind of spice that had been put on the whole pizza but it only appeared on the slice I had in my hand. Upon closer inspection the clusters where little bunches of maggots. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess when the pizza had been sitting out after it had been ordered a fly had laid some eggs on it. TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to food cleanliness and such so I hate shit like that, especially not knowing if I had actually eaten a bunch of them without knowing.

My Mom told me that in the native American world that when animals appear in your life they are there to teach you something and that each one symbolizes something that is supposed to be a lesson, well I looked up the skunk and the bat to find out what they were supposed to mean but I cant for the life of me find out what a fucking maggot teaches you when you (most likely) ingest it. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck Mel Gibson

Seriously, as far as I'm concerned the guy can eat a garbage bag full of dicks. I'll admit that I was into the "Mad Max" movies, the "Lethal Weapon" flicks were decent (despite getting the tbs treatment is recent years), "conspiracy theory" was alright and I was even kinda a fan of Payback but when Gibson got on the whole "Passion of the Christ" thing it didn't really work for me. The whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way. The reports were that at the end of it all "The Passion of the Chirst" will have earned Gibson upwards of One Billion Dollars. Now I've always felt that if Gibson is truly a faithful man and truly just wanted to show the what happened to Jesus then he should donate every penny of profit from that film to charity and if not he should be confronted with some serious questions.

The guy is full of shit instead of making a film depicting all the good things that Jesus did he chose to ultimately make one about Jesus final hours of suffering and death. Hmmm I wonder why, could it be that that's what would sell and make him shitloads of money. Now I know that the crucifixion is an important part in the story of Jesus but if that's all you show the question is What are you trying to say with this film?

It would sort of be like if a film maker went up to the studio and said:
film maker: I want to make a movie about Elvis
studio: So do you want to portray Elvis' rise to fame and how he made music that many people loved and identified with?
film maker: Oh no not at all. I want to make a movie about Elvis' last hours when he was fucked up on pills and then show him dying on a toilet.

So the recent news about Gibson getting pulled over drunk and spouting anti-Semitic remarks further solidifies the case that the guy is full of shit. Being drunk is no excuse, you don't say things when you're drunk unless you actually believe them. I mean when I'm drunk I'm not going to start yelling I hate Nickelback If I really don't (I really do). So Gibson isn't going to be making anti-Semitic remarks when he's drunk unless he is in fact a anti-Semite. Now you may be asking "Hey wasn't Jesus Jewish? How can Mel Gibson be an anti-Semite?". If I can re-iterate a point: MEL GIBSON IS FULL OF SHIT. From what I've heard Jesus is a pretty forgiving guy and I guess you'd have to be if you're so called followers are shit bags like Gibson.

Conversation between Jesus and Mel Gibson I would like to see:
Jesus: So I saw that movie you made about me getting beaten tortured and then crucified
Gibson: What did you think?
Jesus: Too much whipping not enough leper healing I was hoping to maybe see some scenes where I helped people, you know loving people was really the message I was trying to get across.
Gibson: Well I made a lot of money with that movie. I even started selling official "passion of the Christ" crucifixion nails
Jesus: Do you remember when I found people selling things in the temple I was rather upset and I even tossed over the vendors tables. Have you ever even read the bible?
Gibson: Well ummm....
Jesus: Mel?
Gibson: I read some of it...
Jesus: And what did you learn from it?
Gibson: That is would make a big blockbuster movie

Hostage Situation

Anyone who knows who Nancy Grace is knows that she's the fakest fucking person on Television. I mean she's phonier than a 7 dollar bill, Styrofoam is more natural than this bitch. Anyway last week she interviewed Elizabeth Smart (the girl who was kidnapped from her room when she was 14) Grace Feigned the most contrived sympathy imaginable and kept pressing Elizabeth with really inappropriate questions. Eventually Elizabeth verbally "bitch slaps" Grace. You can see it in this video its worth checking out just to see Grace put in her place.

Speaking of Kidnapping, you know how in movies a common theme (where kidnapping is concerned) is someone is kidnapped and then held for a large ransom only to have the whole plan eventually foiled. My question is: Has there ever been a successful ransom kidnapping in the history of the world? If movies have taught us anything it's that it never works yet people try it all the time. The scenarios even get more and more complex yet the bad guys are always foiled.

The only Ransom kidnapping that I can actually recall is when Patty Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army, but she ended up joining them so it may have been inside job (although there is a claim that she had the Stockholm Syndrome).

Side note: the SLA has a bad-ass logo which I think would look cool on a t-shirt apart from the fact that they are considered a terrorist organization and I they're into some pretty dodgy stuff

Really Bad Tattoos Part 4

Sulu really seems to be forcing a smile for this one. This tat looks like it was made with ink
from a crayola marker (I've never seen a tat so faded).

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Here's a couple of dolphin related numbers. In the second one it looks like they're stomping grapes to make wine.

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These two come from the "special needs" Tiger collection.

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I truly don't get it.

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This last one just may be the perfect match for the guy with the dragon dick tattoo.

Really Bad Tattoos Part 1
Really Bad Tattoos Part 2
Really Bad Tattoos Part 3
Really Bad Tattoos Part 5
Really Bad Tattoos Part 6
Really Bad Tattoos Part 7
Really Bad Tattoos Part 8

Jesus: With you Always

If you've never been to the Jesus: With you always site you should check it out.

Thoughts

- green olives really are the poor mans black olives. Seriously!

- 2 of the greatest 1980's punk records ever are Operation Ivy: Energy & Hectic and Minor Threat: Complete Discography. Both are each bands complete discography. LEGENDARY!

- Rosemary is an interesting herb, I haven't really decided if I love it or not, it works on some things but I just had it on a foccacia pizza type thing and I'm not sure.

- I saw an episode to Iron Chef America the other day and the secret ingredient was bison. Several times it was referred to as having a "gamey" taste to it. I don't really know what "gamey" meat tastes like but I find the whole concept hilarious.

- "Date Movie" is insulting to the human race and I'll even go as far as to say that it (and things like it) make us devolve as a society. (When I say its insulting to the human race I don't mean its insulting in the way that "Wonder Showzen" is subversive yet clever, and hilarious.)

-The other day I ordered a decaf coffee and the girl gave me a regular coffee (I saw her pour it from the regular pot, I don't think they had any decaf brewed) She knew she gave me regular and I knew she gave me regular but I don't think she knew I knew. So anyway I went back a few days later and ordered another decaf from the same girl and looked her straight in the eye and said make sure its decaf, I have a heart condition and I just got out of the hospital... again. The look on her face was priceless.

-You know you can't get Count Chocula here anymore, the least healthy shit you can get is Lucky Charms and that's hardly even that bad. When I was a kid they had that cereal that was just mini chocolate cookies... Cookie Crisp I think.

Who is Mr. Cool Ice?

In my last post I posted a link to a video of the mysterious Mr. Cool Ice with a plea to anyone who spoke German to translate it. A big thanks goes out to Erik who took the time to watch the video and shed some light on the situation.

His hometown is Mainz, he is 33 years old and has gone by Mr. Cool Ice for the last 13 years. He basically states that's just who he is period.


They do a tour of his apartment and we discover that he is a clean freak. Everything has to be spotless and in the right place.



The 2 girls on the talk show are basically making an ass out of him and a direct translation from the girl sitting closest to him is "You look like Shit".

He has spent over 4,000 euro's to get his tattoos which is about 6, 000 USD.

Well there you have it a little light into the world of Mr. Cool Ice. If anyone has any more info keep it coming

I should also point out for those of you who haven't seen the video that "Ice Ice Baby" plays throughout and its likely that that is where he got his name from.