The Tiling of a nation

So recently I did some re-tiling here (the bathroom and the kitchen) and seeing as I wanted the highest possible quality product I went off to the dollar store to buy some vinyl tiles. The tiles were 3 for $1 and with any product with such a steep price tag they come with a 1 year warranty. Now the funny thing is according to the packaging the tiles must be installed in a very specific and precise method for the warranty to be valid.... The funny part? The packaging is fraught with so many spelling and grammar mistakes that I don't think it would be hard to make a case for any installation job.

I scanned the instructions and have included a few of the best parts (with mistakes highlighted). I know I'm probably the last guy who should be pointing out spelling and grammar errors (as evidenced by this site) but these are too good to leave alone.


- ok fair enough, that may be an honest mistake.


- I fried all the paint on the cement before installing the tiles but for some reason they didn't seem to stick.


- I gather that "must be clean" is an important point. Its a good thing the kitchen and the
bathroom don't have any varmish on them cause the living room is infested.


-Are dust dirts the byproduct of dust?


Who is this MAN-UG-ACTURER?


-My favorite line in the whole thing "Stilet to heals". That's fucking gold


-Well seeing as that sentence makes no sense to me I choose to disregard it.

Anyway for reasons beyond my comprehension some of these high quality tiles have begun to crack after about 1 month. I explicitly followed the instructions when installing them so I don't know what the problem is. It must be a manufacturer defect. So I'm going to write a letter to the company as follows:

Dear Capri Tile
I recently purchased 30 tiles for my bathroom and after just 1 month they have become defective. I am very upset. When someone spends $0.33 on a tile there is a reasonable expectation of quality. I feel that I should be compensated for my out of pocket expenses and distress from this whole tiling ordeal. I am asking for $11.27 to replace my 30 tiles (total with tax) and $50,000 in pain and suffering. As you can understand I will not ship the defective tiles back as that would be further undue expense to me. Please remit a cheque in the amount of $50, 011.27 ASAP to resolve this issue.
Thank you.