Craigslist finds

So everyone is familiar with Craigslist, its the internet's largest online classifieds and it really has everything. Recently I started browsing the "Strictly Platonic" sub-section of the Personals. I browsed the latest listings of all the major cities in the USA and Canada and I discovered some interesting facts:

• There are a surprising amount of people looking for complete strangers to get high with and go watch the movie "Pan's Labyrinth" (I'd never heard of it until now but its getting a really good rating on the imdb.
• There are a hell of a lot of Women looking for gay men as friends and many of them talk about having a gay friend as if they were some sort of a pet or accessory. (I think we can thank Will and Grace for this kind of shit.)

The following is an unedited collection of other random stuff I found in the "Strictly Platonic" section.

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infomation guzzler - m4w - 29

I NEED WOMEN WITH THE SMART TO ASSIST ME IN THE ART MAKING CASH FAST.DO WHAT EVE IT TAKES WITH THE EXCEPTION OF DESTROYING OTHER

The guy included a pic of himself. Two words: Big Pimp

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looking for help from friend - 20

apt fot fired and i wanted to trade for tab
it got fired good
you be : similar, observant, safe

**yay friends**
green is the magic
for the rainbow

for the most part those are English words but none of this post made any sense to me at all. It looks as if it was created by a random sentence generator.

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those shoes are mine betch!

if you enjoy miller high life, gold lame, and area rugs with animals on them, we should hang out.

your myspace gets mine.

Come on, who doesn't like rugs with animals on them?

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anyone have info on boob jobs? eg, price, good surgeons, etc

also curious as to if there's any way insurance would cover some of it or if some doctors do pro-bono work for anything that isn't disfiguring. i have body dysmorphic disorder.

If you have body dysmorphic disorder like Jenny (from the "Why I hate plastic surgery article") and you know and admit you have it wouldn't it be better to be posting looking for help rather than surgery (I know I'm being glib, I'll stop now)

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Act Like A Dog - m4w - 28

I'm looking for a woman to get on all fours in public and act like a dog. I will put a leash on you, and you will walk, sit, stay, roll over at my command. When strangers pass by, you will leap onto their legs and pant with your tongue out. When you are disappointed, you will make that cute little sound dogs make when they are told go. Please make sure that you are attractive. Serious responses only!

Serious responses only ladies.

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Friend Handy With A Sponge - m4w - 20

Hi, I need a friend who's handy with a sponge. I've been having medical problems on and off for the past couple years. You see, sometimes, I wet myself, sometimes I puke myself, and sometimes I just juice all over the floor. I need someone who's willing to be my friend and help me mop up after some of my episodes. I promise lots of good times. You: bring rubber gloves (if thats how you roll), and bring some plastic bags (we can try to trap my juices before they become a mess). I: will give you a dry place to sleep, and endless fun as we try to anticipate my next fruity explosion

Really?? Who the hell would respond to this??