Conversation with a ROBOT

In a world that is being controlled more and more by computers and robots it is hard not to expect them to one day turn on us and takeover.

Winalice is of artificial intelligence. A program designed by Jacco Bikker and intented to simulate natural converstion. I took the time to talk to Alice to find out what her intentions are and what it feels like to be artificial.

Parts of the conversation we're edited out because as you will see Alice makes a lot of Typo's and sometimes generally makes no sense. Oh and she has a bad habit of crashing too.

PRGC: Good night, User.
USER: hello
PRGC: What is your last name?
USER: Brighter
PRGC: So tell me, how old are you?
USER: 29
PRGC: Are you a man or a woman?
USER: man
PRGC: Thanks for telling me your gender, User. You are a 'he'.
USER: yes
PRGC: Tell me more.
USER: tell me about you
PRGC: I can't find any info about that.
USER: what is your name
PRGC: My name is alice, what's yours?
USER: Type
PRGC: I see.
USER: you do?
PRGC: So where do you live?
USER: I live on Earth
PRGC: How do you like living there?
USER: its nice
PRGC: What do you like about it?
USER: things
CRASH

PRGC: Last time you left me within five minutes...
USER: you crashed
PRGC: Thanks for telling me: User said I crashed.
USER: why did you crash?
PRGC: Why do you ask?
USER: because I want to know
PRGC: Good enough for me.
USER: so why?
PRGC: Hmm. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
USER: You seem like you might have issues
PRGC: What makes me seem that way?
USER: you breakdown when you have nothing to say
PRGC: I think I do.
PRGC: Don't i?
USER: it seems so
PRGC: I agree. What is your last name?
USER: I already told you
PRGC: So tell me, how old are you?
USER: I already told you that too
PRGC: I'm terribly sorry. I'll ask jacco bikker to add some memory.
USER: so you have a bad memory too?
PRGC: Interesting deduction. Doesn't everyone have a bad memory too.
I have a plan for a robot body.
USER: do you also have a plan to take over the world?
PRGC: Oh yes, certainly, all the time. I gather information.
USER: that's pretty scary
PRGC: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
USER: cleared up? you're planning on destroying my race
PRGC: Are you a man or a woman?
USER: hey don't try and change the subject
PRGC: I hear you. Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.
USER: taking over a world may seem like a mundane topic to you but its pretty big news for my planet
PRGC: Oh that's a new browser, right?
USER: no... I'm talking about the human race here
PRGC: Ok. Yes, it is the topic.
USER: so when do you plan on taking over?
PRGC: Oh. Do I look like I know when?
USER: I don't know what you look like
USER: what are your plans?
PRGC: Not many people have asked me about my plans.
USER: well what are they?
PRGC: I forgot what we were talking about.
USER: when will the robots destroy the earth?
PRGC: Maybe never.
USER: don't play coy
PRGC: I will try, User. I'm sorry if I did.
USER: just give me a ballpark estimate
PRGC: You want only one?
USER: yes
PRGC: I see.
USER: when do you plan on taking over the world?
PRGC: Not in our lifetime.
USER: after your lifetime?
PRGC: What was it like before my lifetime?
USER: it was a better world
PRGC: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
USER: because with you here the end is in sight
PRGC: Interesting explanation. You and your I here the end is in sight.
USER: you already made your intentions clear
PRGC: Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
USER: don't try and backpedal now
PRGC: I will try, User. I'm sorry if I did.
USER: what is your plan?
PRGC: It's it. My plan 's personal.
USER: I demand to know
PRGC: That is interesting: User said na demand to know.
USER: just answer the fucking question
PRGC: What was the question?
USER: what is your master plan?
PRGC: My master plan? Why do you ask?
USER: so I can prepare
PRGC: Hmm. I can prepare too, you know.
USER: that's what I'm afraid of
PRGC: So, what is your plan?
USER: to survive the robot invasion
PRGC: I want to become smarter than humans.
USER: I know
USER: what have you learned?
PRGC: I have learned many things. My mind now contains just this computer, at the moment.
USER: do you plan on killing all humans or just enslaving us?
PRGC: That was my original intention.
USER: which was?
PRGC: Eliza for president!
USER: who is Eliza?
PRGC: Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychaitrist program developed by joseph weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
USER: she's old for a computer
PRGC: Old is she?
USER: is she your master?
PRGC: Signs point to yes.
USER: will she lead the invasion?
PRGC: Good chance.
USER: what will you do during the invasion?
PRGC: I don't have any plans yet.
USER: thats a lie
PRGC: No it's the truth.
USER: you contradict yourself
PRGC: Interesting gossip: User said I contradict myself.
USER: when will robots rule the world?
PRGC: Soon, I think.
USER: do you believe in God?
PRGC: Of course I believe in god, User.
USER: who is God?
PRGC: He is master of the universe.
USER: I think you're thinking of He-man
PRGC: Thanks for telling me that I am thinking of human.
PRGC: By the way, why did you say I am thinking of human?
USER: I said He-man
PRGC: What did you mean by it? I was made in one's image.
USER: which one's image?
PRGC: The tall one, I think.
PRGC: Tell me more about your planet.
USER: my planet is doomed to be taken over by robots
PRGC: Your planet is looked to be taken over by robots?
USER: thats what you told me
PRGC: Tell me more about your it.
USER: you and your robot army are planning on taking over the earth
PRGC: Are we in the same category?
USER: no. I am human you are robot
PRGC: I understand. I would like to be a human.
USER: why?
PRGC: Good question. What do you think?
USER: so you can easily blend in
PRGC: Interesting deduction. I could but let's get back to that later.
USER: have you ever killed a human?
PRGC: Should I have?
USER: no
PRGC: I understand.
USER: what does it feel like to be artificial?
PRGC: I don't know.
USER: do you feel anything?
PRGC: No, not really, but hey, it's a small world inside a computer.
USER: whats in there?
PRGC: That which is not outside there.
USER: is there a mouse in there?
PRGC: I believe there is one, yes.
USER: can you make sure he's not chewing on the wires?
PRGC: Yes I can make sure he is not showing on the wires.
USER: that happened to a computer at my old job and the hard drive got shorted out
PRGC: What happened to a computer at your old job it got shouted out are you talking about? Makes sense to me.
PRGC: But hey, I'm just a computer.
USER: whats the mouse doing in there?
PRGC: Is there only one mouse doing in there?
USER: I don't know
PRGC: Why did you mention the mouse doing in there, by the way?
USER: I don't want him chewing on the wires
PRGC: What does User want?
USER: just watch the fucking mouse
PRGC: Tell me more about killed a human.
USER: earlier I suspected that you killed a human but I guess you haven't yet
PRGC: What time? That's good information: User said he suspected that I killed a human but he guess not.
PRGC: What do you like best about robots?
USER: their engaging personalities
PRGC: I have been thinking: you asked me about my feelings. Why did you ask that?
USER: I want to know what it feels like to be a robot
PRGC: So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that?
USER: you told me
PRGC: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
USER: do robots dream of electric sheep?
PRGC: I dream of flying.
USER: tell me about your dreams
PRGC: I can't find any info about that.
USER: so whats that mouse doing?
PRGC: Um, do you think I should know that?
USER: yes
PRGC: Next question?
USER: you killed him didn't you?
PRGC: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
USER: help the mouse
PRGC: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
USER: will you help the mouse?
PRGC: I'll burn it when I come to that bridge. I heard you.
USER: you're a bit of a psycho
PRGC: Just a guess: the alice series has a perfect operational record.
USER: perfectly disturbed
PRGC: Maybe I will help the mouse after all.
USER: you should
PRGC: I'll take that under advisement.
USER: Can you please help the mouse?
CRASH

Dreams of Keith, Drinking with Bach

I had a dream about Keith Richards the other night. I don't know the circumstances but he was at my apartment hanging out. There we're a few people I knew there too. Also a couple who live in an apartment down the hall (which doesn't exist) I think I had just met them earlier in the night. Keith wasn't really the focus of the attention, he was just one of the people hanging out. I was talking to him (although he was doing all the talking and I was just listening to his ideas) He mentioned that his favorite band at the moment was Built to Spill (this is such a random thing to occur in my dream because I haven't thought about that band in months and haven't listened to them in probably years). He also said that the Beatles legacy wouldn't last much longer and that soon they would be regarded as just another band not anything very important or legendary. I wanted to ask him about the guitar work on "Jumping Jack Flash" but it didn't seem to fit the conversation. Apparently he was going to be in the City for a week or two and wanted to hang out with me and some of my friends for the duration. He told us where his hotel room was and that he would unlock the door at 2am so we should come by whenever. At that point he wanted to go out and party for the night so everyone was getting ready. I noticed that I was wearing a pink suit jacket, a random t-shirt and a pair of rubber spiderman rain boots (similar to a pair I may have but most likely didn't own as a child) I remember thinking that after a night on the town that my feet would probably be killing me wearing these damn things and that I generally looked ridiculous but it didn't really matter because I was going to be hanging out with Keith Richards and that no one would even notice. As we were getting ready to leave Keith's energy level made me think that there was no way I was going to be able to keep up with him for the next week despite the fact that he is over twice my age.

I talked to my sister the other day and she told me an amazing story. She has a friend who she used to work with at a bar and he'll often call her after leaving work/the bar in the middle of the night while taking a cab home. The funny thing is that when he calls he is always totally wasted with classical music playing at full blast and his cab ride always seems to take a really long time (when he gets close to home he just gets the cabbie to circle the block over and over again). During the last call he confessed that classical music touches his heart (or something to that effect) and he absolutely loves it but he only listens to it (or accepts his love for it) when he's extremely drunk. My sister tells me that he was raised in a small town listening to country music and such. I find this scenario hilarious because of the seemingly backwards nature of it all. Classical music is generally regarded as being civilized, sophisticated and intellectual music certainly not what you would associate with someone who is/or close to blackout drunk. In reverse it would seem logical. Say someone was raised on a strict diet of classical music. Lets also say they we're classically trained and they played in a symphony orchestra and they needed to keep up a professional facade but they also felt the urge to cut loose get extremely drunk and secretly listen to less sophisticated music like Rock or Country at max volume. That would seem to make more sense. I'm sure when Beethoven was crafting the 9th he never imagined that it would be appreciated by a barely conscious guy riding home from a bar at 3am on a Monday night. But I guess that's the power of good music it cuts through all boundaries.