batman breakdown

so with all the talk about the new batman movie, I decided to do a little research in the the history of the big screen batman. The stats are all from Imdb.

as you can see the batman franchise was sinking faster than Joel Schumacher's credibility ( I had to include Catwoman because it is a batman related movie) I was surprised that Catwoman was rated only slightly worse than Batman & Robin. I never saw Catwoman but the way people talked about it it sounded worse than a movie starring Bennifer, Justin & Kelly or Mariah Carey. Anyway I still havent seen Batman Begins but it seems promising.

star wars episode 3

I liked episode 3 but I should also say that I liked episode 2. Of the prequels they have progressively gotten better, obviously they don't stand up to the originals but I think you have to think of them in different terms. My biggest problems with the pre's are CGI (I hate CGI, but I really hate when characters are done purely with CGI) I still think they look better as puppets and that actually locations look better than fanciful alien landscapes. Problem 2 is that the pre's are way too busy, too many characters, too many locations, too much politics, and the battles and fight scenes are too much. The originals followed a fairly simple formula beginning/middle/end (in terms of location). For example Tatooine --> Death Star --> Death Star battle. or Hoth -->Dagoba --> Cloud City. or Tatooine -->Moon of Endor -->2nd Death Star Battle. Anyway it would have been better if kept simpler.

Now that the six are done its time to ask a bunch of pointless questions:

How did Chewbacca go from being a high ranking officer in the Wookie army to the side kick of a two bit smuggler?
or maybe Chewbacca is a common name for a Wookie.

In episode 3 Ob1 says to Luke "Here is your fathers lightsaber, he wanted you to have it when you to have it when you were old enough but your uncle wouldn't allow it"

here's how I imagine it played out.

phone rings

Ob1 - hello
Vader - Is Ob1 there?
Ob1 - speaking
Vader - hey its, Anna- I mean Darth Vader.
Ob1 - oh shit did you live through that lava pit thing?
Vader- yeah but I'm more machine than man now.
Ob1 - ha ha yeah, sorry about that
Vader - anyway I noticed as my legs were melting off that you grabbed my lightsaber, and its cool I don't need it back or anything cause its a blue one and I have a red one now but can you make sure my son gets that when he's old enough.
Ob1 - Uhhhh what do you mean your son?
Vader - come on man, I'm the most powerful jedi in the galaxy I know that my son is alive
Ob1- Ok I'll make sure he gets it
Vader - thanks dude
Ob1- alright talk to ya later.

and then when Ob1 tries to drop it off Lukes uncle basically utters some insult about him being a crazy old wizard and to get off his property before he beats him with a moisture hose.

another question:

in episode 1 when Ob1 brings Anakin before the jedi council they say he is too old to start the training (and he's maybe 7 years old) he then spends years and years training and eventually is still unable to resist the dark side.

Luke doesn't start training until he is about 19 years old and his training consists of a 5 minute lesson on the flight from Tatooine to Aldaran and then about 2 days on the Dagobah. He then falls for the trap that is set for him, but ultimately he doesn't join the dark side even when its his own father tempting him with dreams of ruling the whole galaxy. I found that strange, It should have been easy as hell for the Emperor and Vader to get Luke to join the Dark side.

Luke: "He says he belongs to an Ob1 Kenobi"
Ob1: "I don't recall ever owning a droid before"
but here's the part that got cut out "but these two have the same names and look exactly like a couple of droids I hung out with for about 30 years and went on a shit load of adventures with, actually Luke C3P0 here was built by your Dad that's pretty cool eh?"

anyway I have a million retarded questions like these.....there are more to come

Hells Kitchen - Season Premiere

Holy shit. Just when I thought that all the good shows had finished for the year I get hit with a powerbomb called Hells Kitchen. Its a new reality show where famous British chef Gordon Ramsay has 12 people competing for a winning prize of their own restaurant. All of them have varying degrees of restaurant experience from none to "executive chef". The best part though is Ramsay, the guy is a total dick, a British dick, he makes Simon Cowell look like a fucking kitten. I'm not even joking Ramsay is brutally mean just for the sake of being mean. Its great. The way I look at it is like an army drill sergeant in boot camp. He has to be excessively hard on the contestants to get them ready for the harsh reality that is the restaurant business, and anyone that has worked in a restaurant or more specifically a kitchen knows how fucking crazy it can be. But wait he isn't just a dick to the contestants and staff he is a dick to the customers too, when a couple of blonde women came up to ask why their food was taking so long (they had been waiting 90 mins for their appetizers) he told everyone in the kitchen to "ignore the bimbos" and then he told them to "Fuck Off". Later on when another 2 women from the same table came up to say that they had been offended by what being told to fuck off earlier he told them to go back and tell them he meant it and then got the maitre d to escort them away. Other highlights of the show is that there is an overweight fellow by the name Dewberry, Yeah I'm fucking serious its Dewberry. I laughed every time I thought about his name. He is obviously being set up as the patsy, but it works. The funniest thing about him is when you look at the guy he really looks like his name should be Dewberry.

hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

I just saw the new version. It was ok. I havent read the book or heard the original radio version but I have seen the BBC mini series from 1981. The mini series was 3 hours long so obviously this version had to be cut down (there were also things that were added) I was disappointed that my fav joke from the series was cut. The extended joke about his house being demolished and about the plans being in the cellar. This one they merely said they were in the cellar and the heart of the joke was the detail about how far in the cellar they were also the explanation about the plans to demolish the earth......whatever.... I also thought that Marvin the paranoid android was funnier in the BBC series.

the circle of kife

first Vin Diesel starred as some sort of secret agent in "xXx"

and Ice Cube was babysitting a couple of kids in "Are we There Yet?"

then Vin Diesel started babysitting a couple of kids in "The Pacifier"

and then Ice Cube became the new xXx in the "xXx: State of the Union" thus completing the cycle


I do want to note that I havent seen any of those movies and do not plan on ever seeing any of them (especially the Vin Diesel ones).

Pontiff Pondering

Because Pope John Paul II has been the pope my entire life I merely assumed that popes always had ordinary names. Upon finding a list of all the past popes it has become clear that some of the past 265 popes have had some really cool names.

St. Anacletus (Cletus) (76-88) a pope named Cletus that's too much
St. Sixtus I (115-125) -- also called Xystus I a name like Xystus is damn cool
St. Hyginus (136-140) - it almost sounds like high-genius
St. Urban I (222-30) - I think the youth would relate to Pope Urban
St. Cornelius (251-53) - enough said
St. Innocent I (401-17) - sound likes the name of a movie
St. Leo I (the Great) (440-61) - Leo the great it doesn't get much better than that
St. Hilarius (461-68) - that's hilarious
St. Nicholas I (the Great) (858-67) - good old St. Nick
Lando (913-14) - I think he's in cloud city now

There's lots more too...so any of those names may be appointed to the new pope, There have been 23 Pope John's, 13 Pope Leo's, 15 Pope Benedict's, 13 Pope Innocent's etc. etc. etc. lets see a cool name for the pope.

a severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer

well, it was certainly not cool to hear that Mitch Hedburg died...there are rumours floating around that it was a heart attack or a heroin overdose...we'll have to wait and see.

Saw the movie Chinatown today...I had to laugh at the classic line "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown" even though its at a serious part of the movie...I can thank the Simpsons for skewing every pop culture reference of the past 50 years into a joke.
I really like the film noir genre...even though it really isnt done anymore, Chinatown was 1974 and even that was late for the genre, it was mainly the 1940s and 1950s. The most recent movie I can think of in the genre is "The Man who Wasnt There". A lot of the Coen brothers movies are noir-esque in my opinion.

Ellica

This is the coolest thing I've seen in a while. Japanese car called the Ellica. Its completely battery powered using lithium ion batteries, but unlike the common perception of electric cars it is extremely powerful. It can travel 370 km/h, it can go from 1-100 km/h in 4 seconds and it can travel 300 km before the batteries need to be charged. Another great thing is that braking energy is absorbed back into the motors to recharge the batteries. Apparently pollution is becoming a big problem in Japan and they are actually looking into ways to solve the problem. The problem at present is that the batteries for this car cost $230 000 making the total for the car $350 000, but if more is put into the research and development of such projects the price will drop drastically also making this world less dependent on oil. Anyway I see it as a step in the right direction.

The mice are back (they probably never left)

So since I got those things that you plug in that emit a high freqency which you arent supposed to be able to hear but I can hear them and theyre really annonying, I havent seen a mouse in the house and I just asumed that they had left. but the truth came out when I took a close look at the butter I had left on the counter. As you can see from all the tongue marks on the butter the mice are still in full force. I think that mice may have tongues like cats because this is what butter looks like after a cat has been licking it, but I also get the feeling that it might be teeth marks from the mice.

How were my 2005 Oscar Predictions

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jamie Foxx - RAY

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES

ART DIRECTION
THE AVIATOR

CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE AVIATOR

COSTUME DESIGN
TROY
THE AVIATOR

DIRECTING
THE AVIATOR
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BORN INTO BROTHELS

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
AUTISM IS A WORLD
MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH

FILM EDITING
RAY
THE AVIATOR

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE SEA INSIDE

MAKEUP
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

MUSIC (SCORE)
FINDING NEVERLAND

MUSIC (SONG)
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES

BEST PICTURE
RAY
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
LORENZO
RYAN

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
LITTLE TERRORIST
WASP

SOUND EDITING
SPIDER-MAN 2
THE INCREDIBLES

SOUND MIXING
THE AVIATOR
RAY

VISUAL EFFECTS
SPIDER-MAN 2

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
SIDEWAYS

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE AVIATOR
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

11 out of 24... I came in 2nd in the Pool the winner got 13.