Its gonna be huuuuuuuge

Whenever Donald Trump talks about the Apprentice in interviews he talks about how the show is huge and how it kills in the ratings. I was curious about this so I looked up the ratings. In reality the Apprentice is not up against: a higher rated show in its time slot or a higher rated show on Thursday night. Its up against the highest rated show on TV CSI. And if you look at that chart (in the link) the Apprentice isn't even in the top 20, meaning that at the very very least CSI is beating the Apprentice by 16 million viewers.

Personally I like the Apprentice and I always watch it over CSI. Not that CSI is bad I often watch the re-runs because they play all the fucking time now but there's something about a reality show battle that a crime drama cant fill.

tags: tv, entertainment, the Donald, reality tv

a score for all seasons

Afi has released its list of the top 25 film scores of all time and coming in at number 1 is Star Wars. Fuck Yeah. This brings me to something that I've always said and that is. "The Star Wars films wouldn't be half the movies they were without the score and the sound effects". The sound effects created by Ben Burtt they were completely unique and original and really set the tone for the films.

These sounds include but are not limited to

*R2D2
*Lightsabers
*Tie fighters
*Darth Vadar
*Blasters
*Jawas
*Millenium Falcon failing to go light speed
*AT-AT walkers
*Droids
*Chewbacca
*Speeder Bike
*Land Speeder
*Ewoks

I write too much about Star Wars

tags: star wars. films, music, entertainment

2 awesome things

First off this picture has been floating around the net for a while and since I find it humorous I decided to post it.

Secondly check out this amazing video of a high school band playing a couple DJ Shadow songs with instruments. Its pretty amazing, they figured out how to play all the samples live. They play 'Building Steam with a Grain of Salt' and 'Changeling' if you are a fan of the album you will really like this (beware the file is 67MB).

tags: music, star wars, video, pics

Steve Guttenberg: What the hell happened?

Do you remember Steve Guttenberg? If you were born after 1980 then there's a good chance you don't but at one time in the mid 80s he was a star.

While flipping through the channels I stumbled upon the last few minutes of a movie on TBS that had him in it as well as the Olsen twins and it got me wondering what the hell happened to that guy.

Here is an IMDB user ratings chart of all his movies (starting with Police Academy because that was when he entered the public eye).

Police Academy (1984)5.8
Police Academy 2 (1985)4.4
Cocoon (1985)6.6
Bad Medicine (1985)4.0
Police Academy 3 (1986)3.9
Short Circuit (1986)5.9
The Bedroom Window (1987)6.3
Police Academy 4(1987)3.5
Amazon Women on the Moon (1987)5.7
Surrender (1987)5.2
Three Men and a Baby (1987)5.7
High Spirits (1988)4.9
Cocoon: The Return (1988)4.9
Don't Tell Her It's Me (1990)5.1
3 Men and a Little Lady (1990)4.6
The Big Green (1995)4.6
Home for the Holidays (1995)6.4
It Takes Two (1995)4.9
Overdrive (1997)3.3
Zeus and Roxanne (1997)5.1
Home Team (1998)3.4
Airborne (1998)3.1
P.S. Your Cat Is Dead (2002)5.1

That's a pretty weak resume. When the highest rated movie you were in is Cocoon (a story about old people feeling young again) you know you're acting career isn't in the greatest shape. One thing I have to give Guttenberg credit for is leaving the Police Academy train wreck after 4 movies out of 7 in the series so far ( I say so far because there are rumors of a new one in the works and judging by Guttenbergs career these days he'll probably be in it).

In the 1995 episode of the simpsons Homer the Great (the one about the secret society the stonecutters) there is a line the Stonecutters song "Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do! We do. This basically implies that it takes a secret society to make someone like Guttenberg famous, not an outrageous theory.

tags:movies, actors, entertainment

No love for Jefferson Starship's "We built this city"

Recently there have been a few "worst song ever" lists and topping them all is Jefferson Starship's (or as they were known when they released the song Starship's) "We built this city". I am confused each time I see it garner the #1 spot. The song is far from the worst song ever and I will in fact say that I like the song. I always have. Its not a guilty pleasure or any other bullshit like that because I don't feel guilty for the things I like. In fact no one should be expected to hide the things they like just because certain powers that be think that it is something to be abhorred.

I would like to explore possible scenarios as to why the song is hated.

*1 The 80s recording production values make it sound terrible: You really can't judge a song by its production, I've always felt that if certain songs were recorded with different techniques people would have vastly different opinions of them for example: if the Ramones first album was recorded to sound like Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run it would have sucked. Maybe it wouldn't make a difference at all though because all of Prince and Peter Gabriel's music production sounds like a huge sack of donkey shit yet they are still regarded as some kind of musical genius'. (Now that's something I've never understood and not because of the production but because I just don't "get" their music).

*2 The lyrics are fucking stupid: It was the 1985 I challenge anyone to find a pop song from the 80s (or now for that matter) that doesn't have stupid lyrics. Personally I would rather listen to Starship's half baked rebellion against corporations over anything Wham, Lionel Richie, or Phil Collins had to say (they had the top 3 songs of the same year) and on that point who the fuck remembers "Careless whisperer" by Wham which was the #1 song of the year, "We Built this city" certainly has stood the test of time over that forgotten relic. (ok upon downloading and listening to "Careless whisperer" it is known today but not to the extent of "We built this city").

*3 Jefferson Starship is a mere shadow of Jefferson Airplane: This is true, yet the song was a #1 hit and the #10 song of 1985 on billboard and the band was much more successful than Jefferson Airplane (Now I am not trying to justify success as a gauge of quality, but you cant erase history and in the mid 80s people were loving this song.)

#4 The Video was ridiculously shitty: This is also true but that's like saying rubbing your knuckles on a cheese grater really hurts. Its fucking redundant. Music videos are ridiculously stupid to begin with and besides the point a video is not a song, and its the song that's in question. If there was a video for "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones featuring a monkey and an old man dancing the fandango sure it would be an abomination but it wouldn't make the song any less good.

*5 The song is too catchy and it always gets stuck in my head: I think when people get annoyed with getting songs stuck in their head there is a deeper problem that needs to be explored. Obviously you're subconscious likes the song and wants to repeat it over and over but it seems your conscious mind is having problems accepting that fact. Don't let the pressures of the world make you feel bad for liking something, there's no denying that the song is catchy.

*6 Its just bad: Ok everyone is entitled to their own opinion but come on if you're gonna pick a worst song of all time don't pick something that's catchy and at the very worst cheesy. There have been enough trash recorded to pick a far worse song than this one.

Finally don't hate pop music. It's exactly where its supposed to be on the musical food chain. Pop music is candy. Pure sugar that offers no nutrition or sustenance. You cant/shouldn't live on it because if you indulge too much you're gonna feel extremely sick but you can't deny that once in a while you just want to dip your head in a vat of melted chocolate.

tags:music, songs, bands, entertainment

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written on the bathroom wall

I am going to start photographically documenting all the bizarre things I see written in washrooms. Yesterday on a paper towel dispenser I saw this written "I fucked my dog...and your dog bucked me". Now it is far beyond my comprehension why anyone would ever take the time to write that. Its not funny (at least not to me) and it there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for its existence. I don't know what its like in women's washrooms but you would be hard pressed to find a public men's room that isn't covered in all sorts of writing. Not all of it is idiot, obscene and/or insulting once in a while there is a little tidbit of thought. My favorite thing I've seen written so far is this "Modern music has no class". That's it! It was in really small writing next to something that was written really large and worth forgetting.

I believe that we only achieve true independent thought when we are alone without (major) distractions. In the world we live in today most people don't spend any time at all distraction free except maybe the 5 minutes they spend in the washroom (unless they are the type that reads). So if there are 2 types of people (in terms of washroom time) the readers and the writers I would hope that the writers use their couple minutes of independent thought to come up with something that may be at least a little bit thought provoking. I've never forgotten about "Modern music has no class" and that was probably 7 years ago. It got me thinking rather in depth about the state of modern music and where along the way it did in fact lose its class. It also got me wondering what particular music the writer had been referring to and what had led him to that specific conclusion. In closing I would like to say may all the dog fuckers lose their pens and the thinkers keep writing.

tags:Writing, words, grafitti, culture

Thank you for smoking - Toronto International Film Festival

Jason Reitman (Ivan Reitman's son) directorial debut is a satirical look at big business tobacco. The Film follows Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) a spokesperson for the Academy of Tobacco Studies as he tries to spin the ill effects of tobacco in a world where it is almost impossible to deny. Nick also tries to maintain a good relationship with his son (Cameron Bright) as he becomes increasingly more curious about his fathers job. The Film also features William H. Macy the senator from Vermont hell bent on bringing down the tobacco industry as well as Maria Bello, Adam Brody, Sam Elliot, Katie Holmes, Rob Lowe, Robert Duvall and David Koechner.

The film was really funny and well done. Eckart shines as the slick talking lead who could win an argument about anything. Rob Lowe and Adam Brody have small but hilarious parts ( in the Q and A afterwards Reitman jokingly said that he would like to make whole film with Rob Lowes character. If he actually made it with Brody as the assistant again I think it would be really good). Also great performances by Maria Bello and David Koechner who along with Eckart's character form the M.O.D. squad or merchants of death: liquor lobbyist, gun advocate and tobacco spokesman respectively. Great movie worth checking out.

tags:tiff, toronto international film festival, film, entertainment

SPL - Toronto International Film Festival

SPL (or Sha Po Lang) is (at its most basic form) a good verses evil movie, cop vs gangster but of course nothing is that simple. Nearing retirement detective Chan has spent virtually his whole career trying to bring down crime boss Po. Realizing that it may never happen he and his force find a way to frame Po for a murder but run into problems when Chan's replacement Ma comes on board. The film stars Donnie Yen, Sammo Hung, Simon Yam and Jing Wu. Sammo Hung ( a veteran of over 100 films) plays crime boss Po, Donnie Yen plays Detective Ma, Simon Yam plays Detective Chan and new comer Jing Wu plays Jet the hitman.

A great element of this film is that there are only a few fight scenes, it isn't over done. A lot of time is spent developing the story and characters. The action is completely fresh and intense, unlike type in Hollywood. If you're the kind of person who thinks that the fight scenes in the matrix are good, then you should see some that are actually good and don't rely on CGI for enhancement. All in all a great movie that has more substance than a straight action movie.

tags:tiff, toronto international film festival, film, martial arts

Little Athens - Toronto International Film Festival

Little Athens follows an ensemble cast of late teens/early twenty somethings through a turbulent day living in small town Athens Arizona. The film follows each character individually until they all end up at the same house party at the end of the day. A picture is painted of the hopeless void of the small town post high school world. The director himself describes the film as an anti coming of age story.

In the q and a after the film one confused woman asked director Tom Zuber if this type of story is common in smaller towns in America. He
of course replied yes. I guess if you're from a big city or left where you grew up right after high school you wouldn't understand, but yes this type of story is very true. Zuder does well at describing the scenario. People graduate high school and now instead of working a job they had in the summer its full time, and they start to realize that there are consequences to their actions (unlike if you skipped class in high school). Its as if being trapped in a time warp where you're basically just going through the motions of life, not really moving towards a goal. I enjoyed the movie but I know a lot of people wouldn't.

tiff, toronto international film festival, film, movies

Metal: A Headbanger's Journey - Toronto International Film Festival

Metal: A Headbanger's Journey sets out to answer the question. Why has metal been consistently stereotyped, dismissed and condemned and yet is loved so passionately by its millions of fans? Filmmakers Sam Dunn, Scot McFadyen, and Jessica Joy Wise travel to the UK, Germany, Norway, Canada and the US to explore the issue. With interviews with Tony Iommi, Bruce Dickinson, Rob Zombie, Alice Cooper, Dee Snider, Geddy Lee, Ronnie James Dio, Lemmy Kilmister, Vince Neil and many more the film makers explore key elements in metal such as sexuality, religion, violence and death including extreme parts of the culture like church burnings in Norway.

I have to say that I am not a die hard fan of metal music. I wouldn't even consider myself a fan. I don't even own a metal record (with the exception of Rush, Led Zeppelin and Slade if you want to consider them as metal. They are according to the movie) but this was a really good movie. As a documentary it is solid and entertaining. The film does a good job of explaining the history of metal and all its sub-genres (there is a really good family-tree/map in the film that explains it all). The film does an excellent job of exploring some of the elements that seem confusing to someone who isn't a die-hard fan. It features some great interviews too. Dee Snider is a lot more intelligent than one might assume and Ronnie James Dio seems like a really nice guy. One interesting thing we learnt in the Q and A after the movie is that Sharon Osborne is a supreme bitch who blocked the filmmakers every attempt to set up interviews with Ozzy and Tonny Iommi (they finally got the Iommi interview by going through another manager he has). I would recommend this movie to not just metal fans but anyone who is a fan of music or movies.....so basically anyone.

tags: tiff, toronto international film festival, heavy metal, movies

Wavelengths 5 - Toronto International Film Festival

The fifth installment of the Wavelength series featured 5 separate films in the experimental/avant garde vain.

Lapse Lose All
a film by Kathryn Mackay and Alexi Manis. The film was shot over the period of 2 weeks using single-frame photography. The film starts with a finished painting by Kathryn Mackay and works backwards until we end up looking at a blank canvas.

Ruby Skin
a film by Eve Heller. Ruby Skin is a film using found footage from the sixties. Varying clips spliced together to create new meanings. The film is faded giving the whole thing a magenta hue.

Shape Shift
a film by Scott Stark. The film features Stark in varying poses and moves shot by 2 cameras at 180 degree angle using very quick cuts back and forth to create a mutated fragmented look at his actions.

SSHTOORRTY
a film by Michael Snow. Snow latest film shot as a single long take spliced in 2 and then superimposed. The dialogue is in Farsi and there are subtitles. The scene is repeated 12 times.

Wavelength
a film by Michael Snow. The film that gave the Wavelength series its name. Shot in 1967 the film is recognized as one of the most influential in the history of experimental film. The film is a single shot that slowly zooms in to a photo on the far wall.


To discuss or try to explain experimental films is a hard thing to do (its like trying to describe a painting with words). You really have to see them to understand what they are all about. Of the five shown I would have to say that Ruby Skin was my favorite because it combined the things I like best in art. Found/discarded pieces of pop culture from an age gone by recycled or resurrected into a brand new piece and at only 4 minutes it suited my attention span.

tags:Tiff, toronto international film festival, film, movies

Bangkok Loco - Toronto International Film Festival

For our first movie of the film festival my brothers and I went to see the North American premiere of "Bangkok Loco" a movie from Thailand and directorial debut from Pornchai Hongrattanaporn or his nickname Pink.

The movie is about a drum student named Bay who studied the Drums of the Gods under his professor Tuengpoe (also known as the drum God) but before the professor could teach Bay how to achieve level 10 he is killed in a drum off against the demon drummer.

While practicing Bay gets into a trance like state and the next thing he notices is that his drum sticks are replaced by chef knives and his drum set replaced by a hacked up corpse. Bay flees the scene to meet up with his friend Don (also a student of the Drums of the Gods) and her band. He has to prove his innocence before being apprehended by Inspector Black Ears (who looks like Thailands version of Horatio Sanz , see photo below) and learn level 10 before he has to face off against the Demon drummer in the 10 year anniversary of his professors death.

All that being said the movie is a comedy. (I walked into it thinking it was going to be a very dark movie, but after seeing the opening credits it was clear it was a different kind of movie). It is set in Thailand in 1982 where everyone seemed to sport beatles/ramones haircuts and wear bright polyester clothing. According to Pink (in the Q and A after the movie) all the music comes from a band who was popular in Thailand at the time called McIntosh.

I can honestly say that I've never seen a movie like this before. It relied a lot puns and specifically Thai humor. It seems that this wouldn't translate to a western audience (the director said it himself) but it was still funny even if it didn't make complete sense it came off as completely absurd and bizarre. The movie is visually stunning. There are some many bright and vivid colors and the special effects are really well done and unlike effects we see in western movies. All in all I say its a great movie if you don't mind reading subtitles and are up for a strange yet comical movie experience that may not make complete sense but is fun regardless.

tags:tiff, toronto international film festival, movies, entertainment

The fall fair and KFP

Tonight I spent a few minutes walking around the annual fall fair. What's amazing about the fair is it contains the most bizarre things but what really caught my attention was the food. Probably the worst food (health wise) that there is. I suppose that for the average person its one night out of the year when you can indulge in a little bit of junk food. That brings me to the carnies they DO live on a steady diet of that shit. They spend their days consuming cotton candy, pogo sticks, hot dogs, hamburgers (those cheap reconstituted ones), candy apples, caramel apples, fudge, soft serve ice cream-like-substance, popcorn with various shit coating it, deep fried chocolate bars, funnel cakes, french fries, poutine, onion rings, and crack..... a whole lotta crack cocaine. You may think that I'm making a bad generalization but I had a roommate who was a carnie and he would regale us with tales of smoking crack with his carnie friends.

So the point of this is to tell you about a new invention that I've come up with that may only fly at a place that embraces the worlds most dangerous and unhealthy food. KFP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which stands for KENTUCKY FRIED PIZZA. Its a pizza covered in the KFC breading or skin and deep fried. I don't think anyone can deny how good that shit would be. I don't know how you get your recipe on the carnival circuit or if they are age old recipes handed down through generations of carnies. Anyway I think that if the deep fried twinkie and the deep fried mars bar worked then KFP would be a hit too.

tags: fair, carnie, KFP, food, entertainment

send in the celebs

Yesterday's Oprah was all about celebs who have gone down to the Gulf coast to help out. One of the segments included Julia Roberts visiting a shelter and talking to some of the refugees. I've never seen a more contrived and insincere performance (and she is supposed to be a top actor). It was pretty ridiculous she didn't seem to show any real empathy for the victims. The complete opposite can be said about Chris Rock (who was on the same show). You could tell that he was genuinely upset by the whole thing.

Sean Penn has been taking a lot of flak lately for his rescue efforts (which have been written off as a PR stunt), but I do have to give him credit for actually getting in that filthy water and actually helping people out. PR stunt or not its a whole lot more than most of the celebs seem to do.

tags: hurricane, katrina, celebrities,

Japanese watermelons

Japan really knows how to market things. Here are watermelons that look like Godzilla eggs and a bomb. How cool is that?





tags: Japan, food, marketing, godzilla

we didn't start the fire

Today I made a pot of chili using 3 different types of peppers. Jalapeno's, chili peppers and those light green ones. Anyway I was obviously handling the peppers when cutting them up and everything was fine at the time but about half an hour later my hands started to burn really bad. I washed my hands thoroughly and figured it wouldn't last long. MY HANDS HAVE BEEN BURNING FOR 6 HOURS. I did a little research and found out that once your hands start to burn its too late to wash it off and it has to be treated. Apparently I have to get rid of the capsaicin.

cap·sa·i·cin
n.
A colorless, pungent, crystalline compound, C18H27NO3, that is derived from capsicum and is a strong irritant to skin and mucous membranes.

To get rid of the capsaicin I need rubbing alcohol (none here) or bleach (none here) and then use milk (no dairy in the house) or aloe (none here) to soothe the skin. I think I'm gonna have to wait it out.

tags: food. burn, chili peppers

one star in the black sky

Despite all the death, destruction, looting, property damage, government inaptitude, murder, lost children, separation anxiety, post traumatic stress, starvation, dehydration, disease ridden water, snipers firing at hospital evacuations, stranded elderly and soaring gas prices one good thing has come in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Radio stations have decided to stop playing "New Orleans is sinking" by the Tragically Hip. A shitty song by a shitty band that would no doubt compound the shittiness of a shitty situation.

tags:Hurricane, Katrina, Hurricane Katrina, Music

Spirit photography at the NYC Metropolitan

Here are a couple of examples of pictures from "The Perfect Medium: Photography and the Occult," opening September 27.
"The Ghost of Bernadette Soubirous," circa 1890, by an unknown photographer.

"The Medium Eva C. With a Materialization on Her Head and a Luminous Apparition Between Her Hands," 1912, by Albert von Schrenck-Notzing (German, 1862-1929).

tags: photography, ghosts, occult, spirits,

Star Wars: Episode 4.5

What I would really like to see is a series of star wars spinoff movies that involve the character's in between the movies. Someone (not george lucas) should make them.

Question: After the first death star blows up and darth vader is flung off into space how long does it take him to get
where he's going? And what happens along the way?

Seeing as he was in a short range fighter that is not capable of light speed I like to assume that it would take him several days to a week to get to the nearest Empire ship or stronghold. Here we have the setting for the ultimate
road movie (but in space). Vader throws on some driving music and cruises for a while, he stops at various gas stations and coffee shops along the way, runs into some strange characters, gets in a bar fight or two and maybe a love interest at some point. There also has to be a scene where the emperor talks to vader over that hologram cell phone thing and is pretty pissed at vader for dickin around, this will probably happen when vader wakes up after a night of drinking tequila and realizes he is broke so he has to get the emperor to wire him some cash.


tags: star wars, movies, entertainment

q without u (or lies my teacher told me)

When I was in grade 3 my English teacher told us that there were NO words that had a q without a u directly after it and challenged us to think of an example. The best anyone could come up with was bbq and the teacher quickly quipped in that it was a abbreviation of barbeque and that it didn't count. For the past 20 years I went about my life believing this lie until recently when playing a game of Scrabble it was revealed (in the documentation provided with said scrabble game) that there are in fact 22 words that contain a q and no u.

# FAQIR - Variation of FAKIR, a Hindu ascetic.
# FAQIRS - Plural of FAQIR.
# QAID - A variation of CAID, a Muslim leader.
# QAIDS - Plural of QAID.
# QANAT - A system of underground tunnels and wells in the Middle East.
# QANATS - Plural of QANAT.
# QAT - Variation of KAT, an evergreen shrub.
# QATS - Plural of QAT.
# QINDAR - Variation of QINTAR, a monetary unit of Albania.
# QINDARS - Plural of QINDAR.
# QINDARKA - Albanian currency.
# QINDARKAS - The plural of QINDARKA.
# QINTAR - See above.
# QINTARS - Plural of QINTAR.
# QOPH - A letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
# QOPHS - Plural of QOPH.
# QWERTY - A standard typewriter keyboard.
# QWERTYS - The plural of QWERTY, see above.
# SHEQEL - An ancient unit of weight and money.
# SHEQALIM - The plural of SHEQEL, see above
# TRANQ - A variation of TRANK (i.e. tranquilizer).
# TRANQS - Plural of TRANQ

I now regard everything I was taught by my third grade teacher as false, especially that you need to learn cursive writing because you will use it later in life. Its a lot later in life for me now and I don't think I need it.

tags:scrabble, q, lies my teacher told me

Hurricane Grief Porn

It happened after 911 it happened after the Tsunami and its happening again. Everyone is glued to the media to see the latest on the devastation of the post hurricane Katrina world. Things seem to be getting worse and worse and its all anyone can talk about . What is it about human nature that makes us obsess over tragedy and almost get off on feeling bad for the victims. I don't think people really feel better about themselves by seeing people in worse scenarios, I know I certainly don't yet at the same time I cant stop watching CNN to find out what has happened.

tags:hurricane, katrina, news